


I Only Want To Be With You

by Haggis (Karen121968)



Series: Holby City Stuff [3]
Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-02-20 00:31:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 29,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13135395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karen121968/pseuds/Haggis
Summary: This one has been bubbling in the background for a few weeks, I'll continue to work on it over the next week or so and hopefully get it done.I suck at titles, I've written 6 chapters before I could come up with one and I'm not sure it works but just bear with me. Apologies to any Dusty Springfield fans out there, I am sorry that the earworm has now been implanted :)





	1. Bernie

**Author's Note:**

> The chapters on this one are deliberately quite short, I'm hoping that the switching between locations isn't too disorienting by doing it this way.

Bernie watched the new medics as they figured out the practicalities of creating a viable operating theatre in a dark tent kilometres away from the nearest facility. She took notes as each person contributed to the team effort and identified who the natural leaders were. After another hour she noticed that most of the young doctors were starting to flag, sweat tightening their clothing and making every movement uncomfortable. She’d forgotten what it was like not to be acclimatised to this heat and humidity. With a soft smile, she thought back to her four seasons in Holby and how cold she’d been for most of it, even the summer. Still, wasn’t as cold as Kiev but she was pretty sure that memory was made worse by the emotional snowdrift she’d dug herself into. Shaking her head she returned to the present and clapped her hands “OK everyone, let’s take a break and we can have a debrief on what you’ve achieved so far” she turned away and put her sunglasses on as she stepped out of the dark tent and into the blinding sunlight outside. 

“BW!!” a young man jogged up to her and waved a piece of paper in the air. “Message just came in for you” he handed it over and then jogged back towards the larger command tent.

Bernie watched him for a second and smiled at his nickname for her. When she’d first arrived at the camp she’d realised that he’d served with her several years before and he’d immediately called her Major Wolfe. After several discussions around what they’d both been up to since they’d left the service he’d agreed to try to break the habit, neither of them wanted the civilians they were surrounded by to feel uncomfortable with their background and so he’d come up with BW as a suitable alternative. Bernie had protested but he’d said it was either that or ma’am and so they’d agreed to compromise. Of course, most of the permanent staff picked up on it and it was only the newbies they had through their camp every few weeks who still called her Ms. Wolfe or Bernie. Finally remembering the message that the young man had delivered to her she read it through and then closed her eyes “Bugger” she muttered and ran her hand through her hair, pulling out the tie keeping the ponytail in place and stretched her neck to release the sudden tension. “Bloody buggering hell,” she thought she’d mumbled that quietly enough but apparently not if the startled faces of her students were anything to go by. “Sorry, you should all grab some lunch and we’ll get back to it in an hour” she watched them trudge off and took a moment to think before heading for the command tent.


	2. Serena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Switching to mainly Serena dialogue and a wee bit longer this time

Serena pushed her hat onto the back of her head and used a handkerchief to wipe the sweat gathered on her forehead. Standing she stretched her back and looked around at the magnificent scenery. At first she’d refused to see the beauty surrounding her, preferring to stay sunk in her own dark mood and introspection. It had only taken a few days, however, for the scents and sights to percolate through to the parts of her brain that were ready to be something other than devastated. She’d spent the next week taking photographs every two minutes, swiping through them every night trying to decide which ones to send onto Bernie before putting her tablet down and sadly drinking the one glass she allowed herself every evening. She never had sent one and eventually stopped taking photographs and just settled into the beauty and silence she was surrounded by, letting it heal her a little bit each day. It had taken weeks before she steeled herself to reach out to Bernie, sending the box of oil and postcard as a literal olive branch. When Bernie had arrived on her doorstep a week or so later she’d been shocked at how worn out the woman had looked. She smirked as she remembered the teasing she’d been doling out as she saw just how thin Bernie had become and the delight she’d taken in feeding her up. Having Bernie with her again helped her to complete the healing process, although a small part of her would forever be in mourning for her daughter and the life she could have had. They had spent long, lazy days in the garden of the cottage and long, more energetic nights in the bedroom that overlooked the garden. The memories of their lovemaking and reconnection still caused heat to roll through her, even when she was already warm from being outside. She looked around once more before deciding that she’d done enough for the morning and a lukewarm shower beckoned. She was almost back to the cottage when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket before it started ringing, looking at the display she frowned. “Darling, is everything OK?” she checked and walked a little more quickly towards the shade of the covered porch. 

Bernie sat in a corner of the command tent, her forearms resting on her knees as she stared at the sand and dirt under her boots. She had no idea how Serena was going to react to this call but she knew she had to make it anyway. After they’d reminded themselves of how glorious it felt to be in love and together, the conversations had turned to what had gone wrong for them in their early relationship. Serena had, quite rightly, pointed out that Bernie was completely rubbish at sharing her feelings and perhaps she could work on being honest with Serena when she had doubts or concerns about them. She had solemnly promised to share as much as she could, after all she would never live down the “more than like you” comment and didn’t really want to give the brunette any more ammunition for her gentle teasing. So here she sat, the message hanging from one hand while she tried to work out how to break the news to the love of her life. “Everything’s fine, can’t I call my gorgeous girlfriend occasionally?” she stalled for time. “How are you, what are you up to?”

Serena looked confused and gathered a bottle of water from the fridge before returning to sit outside. “I’m fine, been doing some pruning and weeding” she held the phone against her ear with her shoulder as she unscrewed the water and took a large drink. “Spill it” she instructed and heard the long sigh from the other end of the call. “Just tell me, unless you’re pregnant I’ll pretty much forgive whatever you’ve done” she smiled at the indignant huff.

“Serena” Bernie was embarrassed to admit that she was almost whining. “I’m 52 and gay, it would be a bloody miracle twice over if I was pregnant” she could hear the laughter and closed her eyes, imagining the beautiful woman stretching her head back as she laughed. “And I haven’t done anything that would require forgiveness my love, other than being so far away from you” she glanced around to make sure she wasn’t being overheard, it wouldn’t do her reputation much good if everyone found out she was a mushball at heart.

“Smooth Ms Wolfe, very smooth” Serena practically purred and stretched her legs out, enjoying the banter and sound of Bernie’s voice. “So what’s up doc?” she took another sip of water.

“I got a message telling me who’d be arriving to replace the permanent staff who’re leaving” Bernie decided to just tell her, what was the worst that could happen? “And it’s quite a coincidence really but the new anaesthetist is Alex” she listened as carefully as she could to hear what the reaction was going to be.

Serena waited for more information, “Alex who?” she asked before understanding dawned. “Oh you mean your Alex?” 

“No, definitely NOT my Alex” Bernie needed her to be completely clear on that score. “But Alex Dawson, yes, that Alex” she was aware that she was saying her ex’s name far more often than she really needed to. “She must have left the service as well and volunteered for this”

“That’s good, she’s a good anaesthetist I seem to remember” Serena wasn’t sure exactly how she felt about this situation but she was damn sure she wasn’t going to sound like a jealous spouse.

“Well yes, one of the best I’ve worked with” Bernie mumbled. “Look are you OK with this?” she was confused by the lack of reaction. “I mean it obviously wasn’t planned, I’m as surprised as you are”

“It’s fine darling” Serena assured her. “Does she know about us?” she wasn’t sure why she’d asked this or what difference it made either way but it was something to keep the conversation going while she processed.

“She knew there was someone else but it was while we……” Bernie ran out of steam.

“Bernie?” Serena knew that patience was called for when her girlfriend was struggling with her emotions. “How did she take that news?”

“Remember the night when you and Ric wanted me to go to Albies with you?” Bernie closed her eyes, remembering the lingering look they had shared before Serena had walked off.

“You’ll need to narrow it down darling” Serena teased gently, fairly sure she knew which night Bernie was referring to.

“The night you told Ric all about the massive crush you had on me” Bernie grinned at the annoyed huff she got in reply to that. “Anyway, I said I had something else I had to do” she stopped smiling, clenching the fist holding the paper to steel herself. “I had dinner with Alex and told her I’d met someone else but that it wasn’t going anywhere” she swallowed, hearing only silence on the other end of the phone. “She asked if that meant her and I could try again and she was a bit…...annoyed….when I said no, that I was in love with the other person, even if they didn’t feel the same way” 

Serena waited for several seconds before realising that Bernie wasn’t going to continue. “She was annoyed?” she had heard the hesitation as Bernie had picked out the word carefully. “Throwing pints over you annoyed or trashing the bar annoyed?”

“Well if we’d been drinking pints probably the former” Bernie admitted. “We talked, for hours, and she asked questions about who the other person was” 

“I assume it was me?” Serena smiled as she heard the ‘ha’ from the other end of the phone. “So what did you tell her about me?”

“The truth, as I saw it” she stuffed the paper into her pocket and stood, pacing at the back of the tent. “I’d fallen in love with another surgeon but that she was straight and I couldn’t risk losing another best friend by getting too involved again”

“Ouch” Serena said quietly. 

“I know, it wasn’t kind but we finished up the night as amicably as we could, under the circumstances” she rubbed the back of her neck. “We said we'd keep in touch but, well, I haven't had much time”

“Even in Kiev?” Serena asked quietly, it still bothered her that they hadn't been in contact but she'd always assumed that Bernie had reached out to someone else in her life, even if it was army colleagues.

Bernie huffed out a breath “Definitely not then” before deciding not to go into any further detail. “So what are you having for lunch?”

Serena took her phone from her ear and stared at the smiling photo of her exasperating partner. “Chicken salad” she replied, shaking her head. “You?” two could play at that game.

“Probably rice again” Bernie glanced at her watch. “I need to go, we’re starting again soon”

“OK darling, we still on for our call tomorrow night?” Serena ran her hand through her shorter hair, still not completely convinced that the local hairdresser had been right.

“Of course, sorry to worry you by phoning early” Bernie now considered what an unscheduled call had made Serena think.

“Bernie, you can call me whenever you need to, night or day, you know that” Serena waited for any interruption before grinning “The schedule just means I’m naked in bed when you call”

“You are going to be the death of me” Bernie couldn't help the grin or blush.


	3. Alex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Original character introduced in this one to give Alex someone to talk to :)

Alex and Thomas walked down the stairs from the plane side by side, continuing the conversation they’d started on the flight. “You didn’t?!” Alex nudged him with her elbow.

“You’ve known me for years, would I miss the opportunity to tell nuns a penguin joke?” Thomas pretended to be indignant.

“Still, you told nuns the most obscene penguin joke you’ve heard” Alex wasn’t letting him off the hook.

“Do you know any PG rated penguin jokes?” Thomas waited for a beat before nodding and heading towards the group of people waiting beside the runway “I didn’t think so, buttercup”

“Hey” Alex lengthened her stride to catch up to her annoying friend. “Don’t you dare call me that…….” 

Thomas was confused when he didn’t hear the usual threat of physical violence and turned to see what had stopped it. “Al, you OK?” he walked back to his friend, concerned that she looked like she’d seen a ghost.

“Bern” she took her sunglasses off and stared at the tallest person in the group they were approaching. “Shit” she whispered quietly as she put her glasses back on and hefted her duffel bag onto her shoulder more securely. 

“Alex, what’s wrong?” he tried again and looked towards the group, watching as the tall blonde looked towards them and then stared at the ground. “Do you know her?” he asked quietly.

“It’s Bernie” she hissed and started walking again.

Thomas looked confused before he got his lightbulb moment and lifted his sunglasses to look at the blonde more intently. “Not your Bernie?” he realised Alex had adopted a march gait and moved quickly to catch up with her. “Did you know?”

“Of course not!” Alex was getting annoyed. “I’d have put in for the bloody Antarctic posting if I’d known”

By the time they had finished their whispered conversation the group were in front of them and various members of the NGO team were introducing themselves. “Dr Dawson” Bernie said quietly, reaching out for a handshake before withdrawing it when she saw the look on her ex’s face. “And you must be Charge Nurse Thomas O’Reilly” Bernie extended her hand and was met with a solid handshake and a scowl in return.

“You’re Bernie Wolfe” he said, remembering the various occasions when he’d helped Alex get drunk to forget this woman.

“I am” Bernie nodded and risked a glance at Alex before continuing to talk to the man at her side. “Welcome to the camp, we’re delighted to have such well qualified teachers joining us”

“You’re THE Bernie Wolfe” he said, making it clear he wasn’t about to ask for her autograph.

Bernie looked worried, the young man wasn’t looking pleased. “Have we met?” she didn’t remember him but that didn’t mean she hadn’t operated on him.

“I know a lot about you, but no, we’ve never met” he assured her.

“Thom” Alex said quietly, resting her hand on his arm to stop him from getting into full blown rant mode. “It’s fine, I’m OK” she tried to sound convincing,

Bernie was about to ask more, concerned at how pale Alex was looking despite the heat, but she was knew that they all had to work together for another 6 weeks. “Let’s get back to the camp and get you both settled in” she turned and walked briskly towards one of the jeeps.

“Bloody hell Al” Thomas walked backwards to see her face as they headed towards a different jeep. “Are you going to be OK, we can get back on the plane and tell them to take us home if you want?”

“I’ll be fine, we have work to do here and we’re both grown ups” Alex assured him, trying to persuade herself as much as him.


	4. Serena

Serena had spent the afternoon in the local town, picking up groceries and enjoying a late lunch. Driving home afterwards she let her mind wander to the desert in Sudan and how Bernie was getting on with the new arrivals. A tiny part of her hoped that Alex had missed the flight but she was working hard on keeping this voice quiet and convincing herself that she had nothing to fear from the younger, hot, sapphic flame fanning doctor turning up in Bernie’s tent. “Oh bloody hell” she cursed as she almost missed the turnoff for the cottage. “This is ridiculous, she made her choice” she muttered angrily to herself, scaring several cats away from her path between the car and the kitchen.

“Darling” she had managed to get rid of her mood from earlier with a chicken casserole and half bottle of wine. “How are you?” she settled on the large, overstuffed sofa and closed her eyes, imagining her girlfriend beside her.

“Fine” Bernie closed her eyes, tired and bone weary after an angst-filled afternoon. “You OK?” she asked as she loosened the buttons on her shirt and tugged it from her cargo pants to get some air movement.

“I’m talking to my gorgeous girlfriend, how could I be anything but fabulous, my love?” Serena could hear the tiredness and hoped her charm worked at this distance to chivvy Bernie out of her own head. 

“Are you drunk Campbell?” Bernie grinned finally and stretched out on her bed.

“Only on my love for you” Serena couldn’t help but laugh at the groan from the other end of the phone connection. “Sorry, I was trying out my womanly wiles but they seem to have lost their spark”

“As if” Bernie huffed a laugh out. “You are more womanly than any other woman I’ve ever met” she groaned as she crossed her ankles and settled onto the uncomfortable but familiar bed. “Are you on the sofa or in bed?”

“Sofa” Serena stretched her back a little before lifting her legs to lie across the plump cushions. “And wearing leggings and my long, red jumper” 

“It must be cold there” Bernie tried to remember the last time she’d worn a jumper. 

“A little chilly” Serena shimmied her shoulder to get more comfortable. “How did you get on with Alex?” she decided to stop wasting time on discussions about the weather.

“It was fine” Bernie tried to shut down that line of questioning before wondering if Serena had been worried. “Well, it was a bit frosty, to be honest”

“I bet it gave you a jolt to see her again” Serena sipped from her wine glass.

“I was OK, but I was prepared, I think I was the last person she expected to see” Bernie remembered how quiet the brunette had been. “She had a friend with her, he was quite…….prickly” she finally decided on the descriptor.

“He was, was he” Serena frowned, “Do I need to facebook stalk him and have a word?” she was only half joking.

“What?” Bernie tried to figure out what her partner was talking about.

“Give me his name and I’ll google the heck out of him” she suggested with a slightly more joking tone.

“Why on earth….oh I see, you’re being my macho protector” Bernie grinned at the harrumph from the other end of the phone. “There really is no need love, he was just being a good friend to Alex and I’m sure I deserve most of what he’s thinking about me right now”

“You don’t deserve anything other than happiness with the right person” Serena had pulled her laptop closer and was opening facebook just in case.

“Which is what I have right now, with you” Bernie assured her. “Once the shock of seeing each other again wears off we can have a chat and sort out how we’ll work together”

Serena let the silence linger before sighing. “I wasn’t really expecting our scheduled phone sex call to have so much discussion of your ex”

“Serena!” Bernie could feel herself blushing, despite being the only person to hear what the brunette had said. The resultant deep laugh at her indignation only served to have the blood rushing to other parts of her body. “You are incorrigible” she rested her free hand on her stomach, fingers gently stroking the sweat-dampened skin. “I think you only want me for my, allegedly, sexy phone voice” she still disputed that she had one but was prepared to agree that Serena thought she did.

“Since you’re 3,000 miles away that’s all I get for now” Serena reminded her. “But I do love how you sound, darling, we could do this even when you’re back with me” she grinned.

“So I get to sleep in the spare room when we’re back in Holby?” Bernie longed for the day when they were both back in England, working together again. 

“Not bloody likely” Serena assured her. “But if you were working late and I was home, then…..” she let the thought linger.

“I am not calling you for phone sex from AAU” Bernie assured her, although a part of her knew she’d do exactly that if her partner asked her nicely enough.

“Or I’m at work and you’re at home….” Serena laughed out loud at the indignant squeak from the other end of the phone line. “OK, I promise, only in-person, missionary style, old lady sex when we’re back in Blighty”

“93 days, that’s the only difference between us” Bernie sank gratefully into the old argument, like wearing a favourite pair of jeans. “Old lady indeed!” she huffed.

“However can I make it up to you, my love?” Serena had abandoned the laptop and slid her free hand over her thigh, lifting the bottom of her jumper up to let her fingers tickly lightly across her stomach.

“Serena” Bernie sighed, unbuttoning her trousers and pulling down the zip. “You know I’ll always forgive you”


	5. Thomas

Thomas refilled the coffee mugs and threaded his way through the tables filled with medics and trainers, finding Alex at the furthest away table where he’d left her. He didn’t think she’d moved either, chin resting in one hand, staring into the distance with a frown. “You’re scaring off the baby lesbians at table three” he sighed dramatically and dropped down into the chair across from her “Not to mention the insanely hot French guy that is practically drooling every time I walk past him”

Alex blinked and frowned in confusion this time “What?” she looked around before he hissed at her. “Sorry Thom, I was miles away, what were you saying?” she wrapped her hand around the mug and sipped.

“I’m worried about you,” he said, not for the first or even tenth time. “You need a distraction to snap yourself out of this and the cuties at that table over there keep staring at you”

Alex glanced over his shoulder more covertly this time, used to his ‘look but don’t look’ signals. “Thom they’re practically children!” she whispered fiercely at him, although a tiny part of her was pleased that she could still get that reaction. “Maybe it’s you they’re staring at?” she asked before looking at him.

They both started laughing loudly, Thom wiped his eyes before finishing his coffee “That’s better, I thought the bitch had broken you again”

“Hey” Alex scowled at him but grinned at his protectiveness. “She’s not a bitch, she’s our boss” she reminded him.

“Bitch boss?” he raised an eyebrow in question.

“Please don’t call her that, I’ll get over the shock of seeing her again by tomorrow and we’ll be fine” Alex stretched and then swore under her breath. “Behave” she leant towards him before sitting back and looking over his shoulder again. “Bern” she nodded.

“BB” Thom turned in his seat and sketched a salute at the blonde.

“Alex, Thomas” Bernie nodded at them and then looked confused. “BB?” she asked with a raised eyebrow of her own. She heard Alex kicking the young man under the table but he kept his smile in place before shaking his head. “Can you give us a minute?” she asked him and saw him turn to check that Alex was OK before he nodded and moved towards the table with the French contingent. “Sorry” Bernie shrugged and swung her leg over the chair to sit where Thom had been.

“He’s a friend” Alex waved at his departing back.

“Good” Bernie nodded and looked down at her hands where she’d clenched her fists on the table. “I only found out yesterday,” she said quietly. “I tried to contact you but they said you were already in the air” she squinted back up at the sad brown eyes.

“Yeah, that was a bit of a surprise” Alex acknowledged and sniffed. “Thanks for trying to contact me” 

“I’m sorry for not contacting you sooner” Bernie continued, sitting a little closer to the table. “Earlier this year, I mean”

Alex shrugged one shoulder, trying to pretend she hadn’t been bothered by the lack of contact. “Honestly, I kind of expected it” 

Bernie stared at her “I deserved that” she nodded. “Still, I’m trying to get better at that kind of thing” she bit her lip.

“Did you ever work it out with your surgeon?” Alex asked, genuinely interested. After she’d realised that they would never have a happy ever after of their own she had started to worry that Bernie would miss out with someone else.

“Yeah” Bernie blushed a little. “We’re together now, it was a bit rough a while ago but we’re getting there”

Alex saw the twinkle in her eyes and realised she was happy “Not so straight after all, eh?” she grinned.

“You did always say that” Bernie grinned back at her and licked her lips. “Are we going to be OK?” she asked.

“I’ll be ready to report for duty tomorrow morning ma’am” Alex winked at her. 

“And Thomas won’t try to stab me in my sleep?” Bernie glanced over her shoulder to see the young man staring back at her.

“I’ll ask him to be on his best behaviour” Alex smirked.

“He doesn’t need to like me, just be slightly less homicidal around me” Bernie stood to leave. “It’s better for morale it I don’t need an armed guard in the training room”

Alex watched her leave and saw Thomas’s eyes follow her out of the room too. He walked back towards their table and sat down next to her this time, giving the universal hands open signal for spilling the beans. “She only found out yesterday and we’d already left” Alex took a deep breath. “She’s with the other woman she mentioned last time we met up and seems happy enough so I guess I’m happy for her” they kept eye contact for several seconds. “Well maybe not happy but I don’t wish dysentery on her anymore” she shrugged.

“Fair enough, you decide on our tactical response and just let me know each morning” he rubbed her arm before sitting closer and beckoning her closer still. “So, the hot French guy is absolutely playing for my team and is interested in me…...obviously” he raised his eyebrows at the ridiculous notion of it being any other way. 

“We’ve only been here for 6 hours, didn’t you want to scope out any other possibilities?” Alex looked around the room. “I’m sure new recruits will arrive soon” she admitted that the current crop of sweaty, tired and dusty people sitting near them didn’t seem like a great place for her notoriously image-conscious friend to hook up.

“He’ll do for now, only here for another week so a nice introduction” Thomas cleared his throat. “He has an idea that a couple of the theatre nurses are on your team so I’ll scope that out tomorrow at our first session”

Alex groaned and rested her head in her hands again. “I don’t need you to find women for me” her world-weary tone suggested this was not the first time they were having this conversation.

“I was just thinking that a quick cleanse-shag would be just what the doctor ordered” he smiled then frowned as he realised that the cliche fell apart a little when Alex was the doctor and he wasn’t.

“See this is why gay men have such a horrible reputation, you’re like the poster boy for one night stands!” Alex tried to explain why this was a bad thing.

“Why thank you, my dear” he leaned in and kissed her cheek, completely ignoring the negative aspect of what she’d just said and deliberately seeing it as a positive character trait.

“I’ll sort out what I want myself, if anything, thanks” she gave her ‘do not mess with me on this’ glare that worked on her nieces and nephews and occasionally on stroppy junior doctors. She watched the twinkle in his eyes diminish a little and took it as much of a win as she was going to get. “And if you ever say ‘cleanse-shag’ to me again I will prescribe a colonic…..and not in a good way!”

“Al…...Ally……..Alex…….Alexandra” he worked his way up the names until he found one that softened her fierce gaze a little. “I promise to behave and only be on standby for BB duty if you ask me”

“You’re never going to call her anything else, are you?” she shook her head on his wide answering grin. “Well if you’ve got plans I’m off to catch up on some sleep before our early start” she stood and stretched, before waving at a few of the training staff who said goodnight to her. “Try to keep the noise down to a minimum”

“I’ll be quiet as a church mouse” he promised and then a thought occurred to him. “You did pack your earplugs though, right?”


	6. Serena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans are afoot!

Serena was sitting at the kitchen table, paperwork and flight itineraries scattered all around her. She was carefully updating a large spreadsheet with times and booking references. Bernie had once suggested that the Normandy landings had required rather less paper or planning but had kept to herself all future opinions on the matter upon seeing Serena’s stressed glare back at her. After two hours she was confident that the changes she’d made would not break any other travel plans they had for later in the month. “Right” she sipped at her glass of water and decided on a quick lunch before breaking the, hopefully, happy tidings to her partner.

“May I speak to Berenice Wolfe please” she used her most officious telephone voice, the kind that used to leave Americans weak at the knees when she’d deployed it at Harvard. “Please tell her it’s Serena Campbell, Acute Admissions Unit at Holby City”

The effect of her officious tone was reduced somewhat by the effusive response that greeted her. “Ms. Campbell, it’s a pleasure to talk to you, we’ve heard a lot about you” the young man seemed genuine enough and Serena wondered what on earth Bernie had been blethering about. “I’m afraid BW is in theatre at the moment, can I get her to call you when she’s done in an hour or so, or do you need me to interrupt her for you now?”

“An hour will be fine, it’s not bad news, I actually wanted to share some good news with her” Serena crossed her fingers that Bernie agreed with her assessment.

“She will be pleased, I’ll not tell her any of that though” he correctly deduced this was a conversation for them to have. “Are you available on your usual number?” he grabbed a pencil to write down any alternatives provided.

Once she’d finished assuring the very nice young man that there was nothing else he could do for her she left the phone to charge and sat back to watch an episode of her current favourite trashy tv show on her tablet. She was soon engrossed in the appearance of the twin brother, previously believed to have been mauled by a kangaroo, who turned up at his brother’s wedding to announce that he was actually about to marry their triplet sister. Such convoluted plotlines delighted Serena, she never had a clue who was marrying, shagging, murdering or swindling whom and it was her favourite way to pass an hour or so each day. When the phone rang she jumped in surprise and scrambled over the arm of the sofa to reach it and pull it from the charger. “Hello” she sounded a little breathless.

“Serena, are you OK?” Bernie asked, worried by the request to call despite the fact that the corporal had said that it wasn’t bad news. “Were you running?” she could hear her girlfriend’s breathing start to even out.

“Only happens if you race me to see who gets to the bar first” Serena reminded her of her views on strenuous exercise. “I dropped the phone and bent over the end of the sofa to get it” she explained her slightly winded welcome. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you” she remembered Bernie saying the same the previous week when she’d called outside of their scheduled times.

“That’s alright darling” Bernie assured her. “What did you need me for?” her brain was still partially processing the visual of Serena lying across the end of the sofa, along with the delightful possibilities inherent in the scene she was building in her head.

“I have something to ask, and you must feel free to say no if you genuinely don’t want to do it” Serena started out with her opening gambit from her written list of the multiple choice ways this conversation could go.

“Darling when have I ever said no to anything you want to do?” she fast forwarded many occasions where she couldn’t even speak afterward.

“Berenice!” Serena blushed for her. “Are you in the command tent?”

“Good grief no!” Bernie looked over her shoulder, despite having walked half a mile away from the nearest structure. “Nobody nearby but I am out in the open so no impromptu suggestions”

Serena smiled indulgently. “Maybe next time” she sighed and checked her notebook. “OK so I’ve had an idea and, as I said, you must feel free to tell me no if that’s not what you…..”

“Serena, just tell me” Bernie smiled wistfully, she did love the hesitant part of her partner and it always reminded her of a peculiar day at work after their first kiss.

“Right, just so” Serena took a breath and decided to go for it. “Well I checked the air miles in my account and I could squeeze in a trip out to visit you in a couple of weeks” she left space for Bernie’s reaction. “Do they have tumbleweed in Sudan?” she finally asked when the silence stretched for several seconds.

“Is this because of Alex?” Bernie pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“No, not really” Serena struggled to explain. “I absolutely trust you one hundred percent, you must believe me”

Bernie listened to the certainty “I did, but why else would you want to come out here now?” Serena had turned down all previous offers of trips out to see the camp and the setup of the training base.

“I’m not worried about Alex being there or in fear that the sand will remind you of happier times” Serena kept her voice as level as possible, she would not let Bernie know of her insecurities. “But I did realise that I am jealous of Alex because she gets to see the real you”

“Serena?” Bernie had no idea what to say to that.

“Think about it love” Serena looked down and noticed her hand gripping onto a cushion for dear life, gently flexing her fingers to get the feeling back in them. “There is a part of you that comes alive when you are confronted with trauma patients and I saw that many times, but are you telling me that the AAU or Trauma Bay in damp old Holby are the same as where you are now?”

“Obviously not, Holby has much better facilities and conditions” Bernie explained, bewildered as to why she had to.

“Exactly, so if I’ve witnessed you become super-Bernie in boring old Holby then imagine what you’re like in a field hospital under a desert sun?” Serena wasn’t sure she was explaining this properly at all and could feel the earlier uncertainty return. “But it’s probably a bad idea, we can just get back together when you leave and join me here”

“I’m just me, love, the only good changes in my life recently are because of knowing and loving you” Bernie genuinely didn’t understand where this was coming from. “When you said you loved me there was no better feeling in the world, and that includes a world-class, fully functioning trauma bay”

“I assume that was a compliment?” Serena said dryly, not sure if that was actually a joke.

“Mmmmmm” Bernie agreed and thought furiously of the times she’d seen her partner under different circumstances. “It’s like when you’re being Neuremburg-y Campbell versus top vascular surgeon versus Christmas tinsel elf, isn’t it?” she checked to see if she was on the right lines. “I mean I love you but each one of those is different versions of you and they all made me fall a bit deeper in love”

Serena relaxed her shoulders and sighed a little. “Yes,” she smiled. “I love you as much as I ever thought possible but it worries me that there’s a version of you that I haven’t seen yet and I want to fall in love with that part too” she moved to stretch out on the sofa. “Does any of this make sense?”

“Of course” Bernie turned in a slow circle, seeing nothing but small trees and bush, strewn across the flat sandy plain surrounding her. “When will you arrive?” she asked, not completely understanding why Serena needed to do this but knowing that she’d make it happen anyway.


	7. Bernie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time there's a scam afoot :)

Bernie stood in the queue for dinner, it had been a long day and the new intake of recruits was taking quite a while to settle down into the camp’s routine. She swiped through several unread emails and deleted most of them, the rest she would answer later. Smiling she replied to Cam’s latest text message “Cheeky bugger” she muttered to herself and shuffled forward a couple of steps. Once she had collected her food she turned around and saw Alex waving at her from her usual table. Taking a second to decide on her other options she took a breath and walked towards them. “Alex, Thom” she nodded and sat down a couple of seats away.

“BB” Thom said quietly while staring at his dinner, the nickname causing a small grin to appear and disappear just as quickly.

“Bern” Alex ignored him and moved along a seat to be closer to the blonde. “I was talking to one of the new guys, the German one” she waved in the general direction of another table. “He reckons he’s a bit of a card shark”

Bernie raised one eyebrow while she shoveled food into her mouth, needing to have fuel but not particularly hungry. With her mouth full she didn’t answer, circling her index finger to ask Alex to keep talking.

“I did mention that some of the lads had taught us girls how to play gin rummy and cribbage so maybe he could teach us poker?” Alex could feel her eyes crinkling but tried to keep a straight face.

Bernie had inhaled a forkful of rice and spent the next few seconds coughing to dislodge it before taking a large drink of water. “You asked him to teach us?” she finally rasped out.

Thomas raised himself out of his bad mood to notice the strange behaviour. “What are you up to?” he leaned across the table towards Alex.

“Me?” Alex pointed at her chest and then shrugged. “I’m not up to anything” she assured him.

“How did we never get caught if your innocent face is still that bad?” Bernie shook her head before hearing Thomas take his turn at coughing.

Alex laughed and waved them both in closer. “Oh come on, he was being insufferable about the number of women in ranking positions in the camp and I feel like he needs to meet the poker face that launched a thousand hangovers” she pointed at Bernie as she looked at Thomas.

“You play poker?” he asked and glanced over his shoulder at a burst of laughter from another table. “I mean you play it well?” he clarified.

Bernie tried to look modest but she’d never really managed to figure out what that actually looked like. “I win more than I lose” 

“She’s never lost” Alex whispered. “I mean she loses the odd hand here or there and can pretend to be bad, but she always ends up taking more than she loses by the end of the night”

“Do you cheat?” he asked.

“Hey” Alex punched him on the shoulder. “That was a cheap shot!” 

Thomas blinked at her and saw the blush running up the blonde’s neck. “Oh god no, I didn’t mean that kind…” he genuinely hadn’t meant the dig implied. “Honestly, I’m sorry” he reached across and touched Bernie’s forearm. “I just meant do you count cards or something?”

“I’m not sure accusing me of being a card cheat is much better, but, thanks” Bernie shrugged and pushed her nearly empty plate away from her. “No, I don’t need to count cards, it’s all about understanding risk and cutting your losses” she leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. “Who better than a trauma surgeon in a war zone to understand that?”

“But you were playing against other trauma surgeons” he, not unreasonably, pointed out.

“I’m the best there is” she smiled at him, not even trying modesty this time. “Seems to work for poker as well as surgery” 

They spent the next ten minutes coming up with various plans on the best way to teach this particular lesson. Once agreed, Thomas was dispatched to be the middleman in organising a poker night and ensuring that as many people as possible attended. “Thanks for helping me out with this” Alex sat back, drinking her coffee and watching her friend amble across to some of the other nurses. 

“He needs something to lift him out of his mood” Bernie ran her hand through her hair. 

“You noticed?” Alex turned to watch her, still feeling the twinge in her chest at the way the blonde’s fringe just would not stay out of her eyes. She was getting better at not wanting to brush the hair away for her. 

“He’s hardly threatened me at all this week” Bernie shrugged and smiled gently. “I guess the French team leaving was tough?” she had guessed that Alex’s friend had formed an attachment with one of the French surgeons.

“I haven’t seen him like this for a while, he’s usually got the ‘no strings’ thing down a lot better” Alex confided in her, slipping back into familiar patterns of having her friend to talk to after dinner. Bernie stayed quiet, sipping from her water bottle occasionally and watching the teams catch up after a busy day. “When’s Serena arriving?” Alex asked quietly.

“Thursday” Bernie suddenly smiled properly and closed her eyes. 

“Has she ever worked anywhere like this?” Alex asked, guessing the answer but wanting to keep Bernie talking if it made her smile like that.

“God no” Bernie laughed and several people looked over at the unexpected sound. “I’m expecting her to turn up with three different outfit choices for each day and a sun hat to match each one” she leaned forward and rested her forearms on the table and her chin on the top of her water bottle as she held it.

“High maintenance?” Alex grinned to let her know she was teasing.

“Sort of” Bernie smiled again. “She hates wearing scrubs so changes in and out of them when we’re on the ward”

“How can she be bothered?” Alex asked, aware of her own preference to stay in scrubs until the end of her shift.

“I asked her once, she spent the next thirty minutes explaining the psychology of how management treat women in the workplace based on their appearance” Bernie blew her fringe out of her eyes. “By the end of it she could tell she had lost me after the first sentence but we agreed to disagree” she chuckled at the memory of Serena looking her up and down, scruffy hair tied up, stained scrubs and grubby trainers. She had raised her hands in defeat and leaned across to kiss her quickly before heading out to a consult on another ward.

“You really love her” Alex murmured quietly, leaning closer to make sure that nobody could overhear her.

“I do” Bernie nodded before squinting at the brunette. “I’m sorry”

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for, we missed our time, that’s all” Alex assured her. “And I’ll play nicely with the wife when she arrives” she kept her eyes on Thomas as Bernie coughed again.

“Please don’t call her that” Bernie pleaded. “She’ll be nervous and trying not to show it and I don’t want her to……”

“Bern, I was joking, I won’t tease her” Alex looked contrite. “Sorry, I’ll behave, I promise”

“Still can’t do innocent face to save your life” Bernie muttered but nodded that she understood Alex was actually being sincere this time.


	8. Serena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the main protagonists are finally all in the same country

Serena took the last step from the plane and stood to the side to let the other passengers disembark around her. The dusty airfield looked like a set from an Indiana Jones movie and she wondered, yet again, why on earth she had thought this was a good idea. She trailed after the small group of people who were collecting their bags from the pile being unloaded at the rear of the plane and shouldered her rucksack before dragging her suitcase behind her and walking towards the tin-roofed building. Before she got to the doors she heard her name being called and looked over her shoulder to see a young man running towards her. “You’re looking for Serena Campbell?” she asked as he got closer.

“Hi, sorry I’m late, I’m Joe” he held out his hand. “BW asked me to collect you, there was a casualty that she needed to operate on” he took her rucksack and suitcase, hefting both before turning to walk around the side of the building. “Was your flight OK?” 

“Ehm yes” Serena shrugged. “I’m more used to business class to the US or package holidays to the Med” she smiled as he grinned at her.

“Not exactly the same comfort” he agreed and dumped her bags into the open back seat of the jeep before holding the front door open for her. “I’m afraid this won’t be much better” he ran round to the driver’s door and jumped in, gunning the engine and peeling away from the building.

Serena grabbed hold of the top of the door frame, suspecting they were on two wheels as they turned sharply again to join what looked like a rutted track. “How far to the camp?” she asked nervously.

“Twenty minutes” he shouted over the roar of the engine and turned to smile at her, immediately lifting his foot off of the accelerator when he saw her wince. “Oh god, I’m sorry, BW said I should be more careful” he apologised.

“I’m fine, I’m sure you know what you’re doing” she assured him as she took the opportunity to fasten her seatbelt and sit a little straighter. “I’m not delicate, despite what Ms. Wolfe has said to the contrary”

He gulped as he remembered Bernie explaining, quietly but very seriously, exactly what she’d visit upon him if her partner arrived with bruises due to his horrific driving. “I trained on armoured personnel carriers then tanks” he explained before swerving to avoid a large pothole. 

“You served with Bernie?” Serena asked, glad to feel her heart rate had returned to normal.

“I did” he looked nervously at her. “I was in the convoy the day she hit the IED” he explained. “About three jeeps back” he blinked quickly to wipe away the memory that never left him for long. 

“I’m so sorry” her hand had gripped the edge of the seat. “Were you injured?”

“No, just gave me the fright of my life” he shrugged. “We managed to evac the injured out by helicopter and the rest of us cleared out of the place pretty sharpish” 

Serena had never asked Bernie about the accident that had resulted, in a roundabout way, in their meeting. “Bernie ended up at my hospital” she confided. “You all saved her life that day” she reached out to touch his arm. “Thank you”

He coughed and nodded. “It was Captain Dawson who got her out and stabilised, you’ll meet her later” he avoided another huge hole. Serena didn’t want to be tempted to fish for information on Alex so she asked him about the area they were driving through and by the time they arrived at the camp she had promised to take back a present for his mother’s birthday the following month. 

******************

Bernie was listening to two young doctors arguing over what had gone wrong in the surgery she’d had to step into. “I don’t care what your protocols would be if you were in a cosy hospital back home” she didn’t raise her voice but the tone stopped the other conversation immediately. “We’ve spent two weeks going over the purpose of a trauma receiving site and after that exhibition today I don’t think either of you has listened to a single word that’s been said” she tossed her gloves into the bin. “You have twenty-four hours to prove you know what end of a scalpel to use here or I’ll send you both packing” she turned and left them to stare after her in shock. 

Thomas was clearing the operating theatre, carefully counting the supplies used and directing the other nurses to restock what was required. He had been in the operating theatre as a part of Bernie’s team since his arrival and his instant dislike of the surgeon had grudgingly given way to admiration, she was as good as Alex had suggested. He hadn’t expected her to be as good a teacher as she was a surgeon and today had surprised them all with the number of basic things that had gone wrong. Without her stepping in the surgery wouldn’t have ended in success and he was glad he wasn’t on the end of the patented Wolfe-glare.

“Can we finish up here?” he quietly asked the two surgeons who were still staring at the closed door. They both nodded and moved swiftly to finish scrubbing out and decide how they would avoid being sent home in disgrace. Once he’d finished getting the theatre ready for their next patient he wandered over to the mess tent and grabbed a coffee. Looking around he spotted Alex chatting to a group of nurses and decided that he could join the group without upsetting her. “Dr. Dawson” he nodded at his friend and settled in to listen to a long-winded tale of the first campaign Alex had served in Afghanistan.

Alex was patted on the shoulder by several nurses as she moved away, turning to catch up with her friend. “How did your morning go?” she asked as she grabbed a coffee for herself. 

“Let’s just say those two surgeons were reminded pretty sharpish of what it’s like to feel like an F1 on their first day” he shrugged. “She was quite right, from what I could see anyway, but it was still pretty brutal”

“People can goof around and ask as many questions as they like during training but if they put a casualty’s outcome at risk then they will feel the wrath of the Wolfe” Alex said seriously.

“I’m pretty sure she wasn’t joking, we might lose both of them before the end of the week” Thom sat down beside her. “We were lucky she was observing and able to step in”

“Oooohh” Alex groaned. “She ended up doing the surgery herself?” she checked what he meant and shook her head on his nod. “Serena is arriving this morning, she was going to meet her at the airport”

“Bloody hell” he let out a whoosh of breath. “They’re lucky she didn’t offer to amputate their limbs!”

********************************

Serena gingerly stepped out of the jeep, flexing her hands from where she’d been gripping the frame even after her chauffeur had slowed down a bit. She was moving round to get her luggage when she heard her name being called and turned back to see Bernie running towards her. “Bernie” she grinned toothily.

“Serena” Bernie huffed out and wrapped her in a rib-crunching hug. “You’re a sight for sore eyes” she kissed her quickly and stood back, holding her shoulders to admire her at arm’s length.

Serena grinned at her and stretched her arms out to her side. “Do I look OK?” she had worried over her outfit choice for several days before taking a trip to the nearest town with a camping outfitters department.

“You look magnificent” Bernie smiled before breaking into a grin again. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t collect you myself”

“It was fine, you needed to work” Serena turned to see the young man who’d collected her disappear with her bags. “Oh, well Joe was very polite and even slowed down to eye-watering speed” she pulled Bernie in for another hug. “I’ve missed you”

“Me too” Bernie kissed her lightly on the neck before forcing herself to pull back. “Are you hungry, they’re serving lunch in the mess tent” she held her hand out and they ambled towards a large green tent in the middle of the camp.

“Looks like BB will be too busy to fire anyone,” Thom said as he nudged Alex and nodded towards the entrance.

“I remember her,” Alex said quietly, she’d briefly consulted on a couple of patients in AAU when she’d worked in Holby. “God they look happy” she gulped and waited for the tears to leave her eyes.

“Bitch Boss and Boss’s Bitch?” Thom whispered in her ear, glad when he heard her laugh. “Although BB for both of them would be confusing” he rubbed his chin as if deep in thought. “Mmmm this may take some time” he mulled over choices while keeping an eye on his friend to see when she had composed herself. “Let’s rip that plaster off, honey,” he said and stood up, waving at the pair as they stepped away from the counter with their trays.

“Thom!” Alex tried to get him to sit down but it was too late and she had a few seconds to pull herself together before they arrived at the table, taking seats across from them. “Serena, I think we met once in AAU” she leaned across to shake hands with the brunette.

“Alex, it’s lovely to see you again” Serena shook her hand and smiled gently before turning to the young man by her side. “And you must be Thomas?” she shook his hand as he offered it.

“BB has been telling you all about me?” he grinned and saw Bernie roll her eyes.

“Don’t ask” she warned Serena even as the brunette opened her mouth to do just that. “I’m absolutely certain we don’t want to know”

“She may have mentioned that you and Alex arrived together and have been helping her whip the new lot into shape” Serena decided to leave the interrogation of Thom till later when Bernie wasn’t around.

“I hear you managed some whipping yourself, this morning,” Alex said and then turned a bit red as she realised how that sounded. “I mean….” she started and stopped.

“Nobody gossips like theatre nurses” Bernie smirked and shook her head at Thom’s stuck out tongue. “Couple of the new intake seemed to think it was a good idea to argue protocols and ethics while their patient was bleeding out” she shook her head. “I’m sure they’ll be decent enough surgeons in a cosy hospital somewhere but…..” she stopped and closed her eyes as she saw Alex and Thom widen theirs. “I didn’t mean to suggest” she started as Serena stared at her.

“I know what you meant” Serena assured her, a bit miffed. “I chose to come here to see this side of you, so I suppose I have to get used to you being insufferable and arrogant again”

“Serena, I’m sorry, I don’t mean you” Bernie had dropped her cutlery and turned to face Serena. 

Alex cleared her throat and nudged Thom with her elbow. “We have that thing to do, over at the other side of the camp” she saw him look away with reluctance and meet her eyes.

“Oh yeah, the thing” he nodded and swiftly gathered up their empty mugs.

Bernie was barely aware of them leaving, intent on keeping eye contact with her furious partner. “Remember how annoyed Hanssen was when I first took the job at Holby, how he tried to make me understand that the NHS was different from a war zone?”

Serena swallowed down the angry words she’d been about to deliver and saw how worried her partner was. Taking a couple of slow breaths she listened to what Bernie was saying. “You ruffled quite a few feathers in Keller” she reminded her.

“I know, I was a nightmare” she acknowledged. “Well imagine that in reverse” she gestured around them. “Imagine Ollie or Raf trying to operate in these conditions with no preparation time and a target painted on their backs”

“I can’t,” Serena said quietly. “Nobody can unless they experience it”

“These two idiots this morning, will still be opinionated idiots when they get back home, but they’ll be surrounded by an entire hospital of support staff and knowledge” Bernie tried to explain. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to suggest that being a doctor somewhere like Holby is somehow less than being a doctor here, far from it” she tentatively reached out and twined her fingers with Serena’s, relieved when she wasn’t rebuffed. “You’d make a brilliant trauma surgeon here” she assured Serena.

“I doubt it” Serena huffed and rubbed her thumb over Bernie’s where their hands were clasped together. 

“You assess the situation, make a decision and then stick to the plan” Bernie shuffled her chair closer and leaned towards the brunette. “You don’t second guess yourself, change your mind halfway through or engage in petty squabbles over an open wound”

“Well no, except for that one time after you came back from Kiev” she smiled gently, remembering that day and shuddering at how close they’d come to not making it work.

“Perhaps this is why I’m better being away for a while?” Bernie asked quietly, slipping her arm around Serena’s shoulders.

“For better or worse” Serena whispered in her ear as she was pulled into a hug. “You should behave as if I wasn’t here, I don’t want to cramp your style” she smiled.

“Me…….style?” Bernie raised an eyebrow and moved back to finish her lunch. “Eat up, we have a camp to tour and then we need to get you settled in before the party”

“Party?” Serena asked, taking smaller bites.

“Tonight” Bernie mumbled around her last mouthful of rice. “We’re having a ‘welcome to the desert’ party for you” Serena had raised her eyebrows. “It was Alex’s idea, and Thom seems to have become party planner so god knows what’s going to end up happening” she had started to look worried.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, it’ll be lovely to meet everyone” she assured Bernie and finished her own lunch. “I was just hoping that we could have our first night together on our own” she winked at a suddenly flustered blonde. “But I’m sure I can wait until tomorrow night”

“Poker night” Bernie blurted out and suddenly realised the flaw in the plan. “Thom has organised a poker night with some of the new recruits” Bernie grabbed both trays and placed them in the collection area. She reached out for Serena’s hand and they slowly ambled outside, putting their sunglasses on and following a circular path around the compound. “Turns out one of the German doctors thinks that there are too many women running things here” Bernie confided and heard the disgruntled harrumph from her partner. She started to laugh as she explained “So Alex asked him to teach us little women how to play poker”

Serena stopped and stared as Bernie practically wheezed with laughter. “You’re going to scam him?” she was already looking forward to the nincompoop getting his comeuppance even before she met him.

“Not scam, just educate” Bernie assured her. “We won’t play for money, just kudos”

“You know I saw a trailer for Oceans 8 before I left, let me tell you all about the Cate Blanchett character” Serena put her arm through Bernie’s and explained the outfit choices that she felt would be perfect for her partner when they returned home.

Alex and Thom watched them wandering around the camp, Bernie occasionally pointing out a building or tent. “They really look good together” she acknowledged and shrugged when he suggested they start preparing for the party.

***************************

Serena looked a little overwhelmed at the number of people she’d been introduced to in the last thirty minutes. Several had discussed Holby with her, keen to understand the health service hierarchy in the UK. Bernie had finally rescued her from a particularly inquisitive Belgian woman. “Thank you, darling” Serena touched her forearm as she accepted a mug of coffee.

“Sorry I left you alone for so long” Bernie leaned in for a quick kiss, smiling at the look of surprise on her partners face. “You’re irresistible” she shrugged.

“It seems that public displays of affection don’t bother you under canvas” Serena waved at the mess tent they were standing in. “Not that I’m complaining”

“I’ve missed you” Bernie blushed and looked at the floor.

“Hey” Serena stepped closer and put one arm around the blonde’s waist. “I’m really not complaining my love” she leaned up to kiss her on the cheek. “I’ve missed you too”

Alex had slowed her walk as much as she could but she ended up beside them just as they pulled apart. “So, how are you coping with the sand and heat so far?” she asked Serena, ignoring the hand that still rested on the brunette’s waist.

“I think I’m still jet lagged, to be honest” she smiled at the younger woman. “I don’t know how you do this regularly”

“You get used to it” Alex shrugged. “I don’t know how you stay in the same place all the time” she smiled but couldn’t ignore the wince and tightening of Bernie’s grip. “Sorry?”

“It’s fine” Serena patted Bernie’s hand and leaned against her. “I’m on a leave of absence from Holby for a few months” she explained to Alex.

“Being Deputy CEO must have its pressures” Alex suggested but knew she hadn’t hit upon the reason for her leave.

“My daughter was killed in an accident in the hospital grounds,” Serena said quietly and saw the blood drain from Alex’s face. “It’s OK, you couldn’t have known” she reached out to lay her hand on the brunette’s arm.

“I am so sorry,” Alex said to Serena, all the while watching Bernie close off from both of them. “You didn’t say anything” she looked at Bernie in confusion.

“We got through the worst of it” Bernie squeezed Serena’s hip and leaned down to kiss her shoulder.

“Barely” Serena coughed to clear her throat of the emotion as she remembered how badly she’d dealt with the aftermath. “Without Bernie, I would have ended up being committed”

“Nonsense” Bernie shook her head, deliberately hiding behind her fringe until the tears could be blinked away.

“I’m sure you were there for each other” Alex said quietly. “I don’t really know what to say, Serena” she shuffled her feet.

“It’s fine, there really isn’t anything that you can say” Serena shrugged and swiped the back of her hand across her cheek to collect one or two tears that had escaped. “Trust me, the counselors would have said it already”

Thomas watched them from across the room, pretending to listen to a conversation between two Dutch surgeons. “Wait, you used a what?” he tuned back in just as the description of a very unorthodox procedure reached its climax. He laughed along with the rest of the group and saw Alex hug Serena and pat Bernie on the back before heading outside the tent. “Excuse me, I need a refill” he waved his bottle of beer and headed out after her.

Alex stood outside the circle of buildings, looking up at the stars. “Jesus Thom,” she said quietly as he walked up to her. “There’s nothing I can do to come between them and the worst of it is that I don’t even want to try” she turned to him and stepped into his open arms, letting a few tears fall but mainly grieving the lost opportunities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive the Oceans 8 trailer mention, I know its ridiculously out of time with the rest of the story but honestly.......do you blame me?


	9. Alex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exposition everywhere!

“Bloody hell Bern, you could at least have warned me” Alex hissed at her as she stood beside the surgeon in theatre the next morning.

“I didn’t know if she’d want to mention it and she hates it when people know and look at her with pity” Bernie shrugged, it all seemed perfectly straightforward to her.

Alex stepped aside to answer a question from the anaesthetist at the head of the table before moving back to stand beside the blonde. “I know you” she waited for one of the nurses to walk past them before continuing. “How did you cope?” 

“What?” Bernie looked at her before going back to watching the team around the casualty.

“You were supporting Serena but who was supporting you?” Alex crossed her arms.

“I’m fine, we got through it together” Bernie lifted one shoulder before folding her own arms.

“Bullshit” Alex said into sudden silence and the entire team stopped and looked at her. “Sorry, not you” she waved at them all to continue and blushed a little. 

“Alex” Bernie growled “This isn’t the time or the place” 

“After this, you and me” Alex stared at her until Bernie nodded. She nodded as well before walking to the head of the table to check some of the readings on the monitors.

Serena observed a routine procedure in another theatre, clenching her hands as she got the itch to join in herself. “Thomas” she nodded as the charge nurse came to stand beside her. 

“Please, it’s Thom” he gestured at the table. “Alex said you hadn’t operated in a while, do you miss it?”

“Oh yes,” Serena smiled and looked at him. “I’ll be back to it soon but I didn’t realise how much I’d missed it until I scrubbed in” she nodded at the sinks behind them.

“Ah the smell of antiseptic soap gets you every time” he winked at her above his mask and saw her eyes crinkle as she smiled back at him.

Serena looked at him and folded her hands behind her back. “So did you meet Alex in the Army?” she asked.

“Oh bloody hell no!” he laughed loudly and the other staff around them looked across before returning to their work. “Her Majesty’s Navy, if you please” he sketched a bow.

“Ah, is there some rivalry between the services?” she had heard Bernie’s scoff of derision when they’d met some RAF personnel at a veteran’s day event at Holby.

“Not really, the Army and RAF forget that they’re the newbies sometimes” he shrugged. “We only feel the need to remind them every once in a while”

“So where did you and Alex meet?” Serena decided not to get embroiled in the inter-service rivalry.

“Conference for medics at a NATO thing” he kept the details deliberately vague. “We bonded over trying to stifle giggling at a very pompous Polish general”

“Frowned upon, I suppose?” Serena liked the young man, even if he had given Bernie a hard time when he’d first arrived.

“Oh yes, in NATO you really can’t laugh at senior officers unless they’re your own” he tried to look serious but the twinkle in his eyes gave him away.

“And you both left the services at the same time?” she watched as the team around the table began closing up the incisions.

“Yeah, Alex had decided to chuck it and my time was coming up so we agreed to join this mob and try to train up civilians with what we’d learned” he gave some instructions to one of the nurses who was confirming the number of swabs used during the operation. After a few minutes, everyone breathed a sigh of relief and the patient was allowed to move to recovery. 

“You’re doing a fantastic job” Serena took her mask off and waited for the others to scrub out before washing her own hands. 

“Our skill set isn’t really of much use in the NHS” he shrugged and walked with her towards the mess tent. “I know it was a bit harsh, but BB was right last night, it takes a different kind of skill to do this kind of work”

“Ah yes,” Serena collected a mug of coffee and sat beside him. “I keep forgetting to ask, BB?” she watched him over the rim of her mug.

“It’s just a silly nickname” he tried to avoid her gaze.

“I can promise not to tell her if that makes a difference?” she raised an eyebrow.

“No, that’s not fair” he knew he’d lost this argument but didn’t want Serena to agree to keep secrets. “It’s just that Joe and a few of the others call her BW, rather than Major or ma’am” 

“Yes,” Serena sipped again, trying to hide the smile as the young man fidgeted in his chair.

“And, well, you see, when we arrived it was a bit of a shock to see her and I’m really Alex’s friend” he tried to explain. 

“Yes” Serena was openly grinning now, she knew he would tell her once he’d justified himself.

“So, anyway” he rubbed the back of his neck and looked around to make sure nobody was around. “I called her a bitch and Alex said she was the boss and so……..”

“Bitch Boss?” Serena had leaned in closer to avoid being overheard as well.

“Yeah, look I’m sorry, I know she’s not really like that” he knew his opinion had changed since they’d first met. “But it just became a habit and I knew she’d never ask and she knew I’d never tell her so it sort of became a game” he rambled on.

“I like it” Serena nodded and placed a hand over his. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell her”

“Honestly, you shouldn’t have to keep the secret from your main squeeze” he wasn’t sure why he was persuading her but knew he had to try.

“No, it’s fine” Serena sat back and stretched. “She isn’t a bitch, most of the time, but I think she probably is sometimes when she’s here, being Major Wolfe again”

“Oh yeah,” Thom nodded and waved as a colleague shouted a greeting. “The day you arrived she practically had two surgeons wetting themselves in theatre” he confided.

“I wish I’d been here” Serena smiled wistfully. “We’ve not operated together in a long time and I do miss that almost as much as operating myself”

“Alex mentioned you were on a sabbatical, when will you be back at work?” he didn’t want to pry and had no intention of incurring the wrath of her partner by upsetting her.

“A few weeks” Serena looked excited at the prospect. “Bernie finishes up here in a month and we have a couple of weeks to relax in the cottage in the south of France then a week or so to settle back home”

“I hope you’ve got thermals, Holby after here and the south of France!” he shivered.

“When Bernie first started working with us she used to wear layers under her scrubs and a ridiculous hoody” Serena smiled at the memory. “She always looked cold, now I understand why”

************************

Alex marched away from the main buildings, towards the perimeter of the camp. “Tell me the truth” she was still annoyed.

Bernie walked beside her, hands in pockets out of habit. “It is the truth, Serena went through hell and I tried to support her as much as I could” she stopped to look out at the brush and sand dunes.

“Why didn’t you call me?” Alex rounded on her, hands out to her side. “You shouldn’t have been dealing with that yourself”

“Oh come on Alex” Bernie was exasperated. “We finally get together and just as I’m trying to make it up to her for being a complete prat the accident happens” she scuffed her boot against some stones. “Do you really think I could have called you?”

“Do you really think I’d have tried to win you back under those circumstances?” Alex was getting angrier. “We were best friends Bern, you could have come to me for some support”

“Everything was falling apart,” Bernie said quietly, turning to make sure nobody was nearby. “Her daughter stormed off partly because of me and the injury was missed by one of our F1s” she had clenched her fists inside her pockets to keep them from shaking. “Serena fell apart and I tried to be there for her but she locked me out, literally” she glanced up to see that Alex had stopped pacing and was watching her. “The only thing I could do for her was to keep the ward running and once she was signed off I knew she had to have something to come back for”

“She’d come back to you,” Alex said quietly, surely Bernie could see that.

“She needs the ward, and I couldn’t keep it together for her, that’s why I’m here” Bernie cleared her throat. “I don’t think I can go back to Holby but that’s the plan for us”

Alex blinked several times. “You need to tell her”

“She needs to go back, she’s ready” Bernie shook her head. “So I’ll be ready too, not like we get to choose our postings, Captain”

Alex smiled and stepped towards the blonde. “Look, I won’t lie, I’d take you back in a heartbeat” Alex felt the pain her chest as Bernie sighed. “But I know it won’t happen, ever”

“I’m sorry” Bernie looked at her, seeing the pain and feeling some of it too. “I should have tried harder when I was discharged”

“You were dealing with being blown up and having a dick for a husband” Alex smiled at the last part.

“Al!” Bernie laughed as well, feeling the tension lift from her shoulders slightly. “He honestly was a dick towards the end but I still deserved it”

“Nobody deserves their children turning against them,” Alex said softly, seeing Bernie look up at her in confusion. “I kept a few contacts with the Holby staff, didn’t want you disappearing on me”

“I am sorry” Bernie sighed deeply.

“Oh bloody hell, stop apologising” Alex raised her hands in the air. “We had fun, a lot of fun” she bit her lip, flashes of memory causing a blush. “But we both know that bubbles burst”

“They do, and we did have fun” Bernie agreed. “And you were my best friend, I think I miss that the most” she admitted.

“More than really quiet bunk sex?” Alex winked and laughed as Bernie blushed.

“That’s not helping” Bernie cleared her throat. “Are we OK?” she asked as they headed back towards the mess tent.

“I think so” Alex looked at her. “I want my friend back, even if the benefits only range to a beer once a month”

“I’d like that” Bernie smiled shyly, completely unaware of the effect this had on the brunette.

“You’d like what?” Serena asked as she heard the end of their conversation.

“Coffee” Alex winked at Bernie and went to fetch them both a mug.

**********************************

Serena stretched out on the bed, her hands behind her head. “So you and Alex are quite friendly again?” she yawned.

Bernie finished pulling her shirt over her head. “We had a chat before we met you and Thom for lunch” she settled on the bed beside Serena, lying on her side in the cramped space. “You’re not worried?” she ran her hand down Serena’s arm as the brunette turned onto her side as well.

“Oh heavens no” Serena whispered. “Why would I be nervous of a younger, slimmer woman who used to get access to you naked under a sultry desert sun” she had been tracing spirals on Bernie’s ribs but looked up to smile at the worried woman. 

“You’re everything I want in a woman and Alex doesn’t come close to you” Bernie murmured as she kissed the edge of Serena’s shoulder before moving up towards her lips.

Serena sank into the kiss, pulling Bernie’s hips closer in the process. “In that case, you have rubbish taste in women, however, for that, I am eternally grateful” deciding to take the initiative she rolled Bernie onto her back and straddled her. “Now, exactly how quiet do we really need to be?” she dropped her bra from one arm and unhooked Bernie’s when she leaned up on her elbows.

“Imagine Jason is downstairs watching a loud TV show” the blonde grinned and was quite pleased with the measurement scale. “So no screams or extra loud groans.”

“You know, when you offered an afternoon nap with extras I had no idea there would be so many rules” Serena had stood up again and dropped her cargo trousers onto a single bed that was also in the room. She turned to watch Bernie wriggle out of her jeans and licked her lips as the ridiculously long legs were revealed to her for the first time in weeks. “God you are gorgeous” she smiled in bewilderment that this goddess wanted to be with her.

“Get over here” Bernie lay back down and spread her legs. “You fell asleep early last night, despite lots of coffee” she relished the feel of her partner's weight settling onto her again. “I’ve missed you so much” she ran her hands through Serena’s hair, holding her. “I love your new hairstyle” she peppered kisses around Serena’s wide smile. “The touches of grey are quite alluring”

Serena kissed her properly, wanting to kiss her more than hear compliments on her hair. “We’re getting better at the kissing thing” she breathed heavily, giving Bernie a delightful view of heaving breasts.

“You are a cracking snog, Ms. Campbell” Bernie assured her before diving in for more of the same.


	10. Thomas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year and a confession - I've never played poker but I went with the same conceit as the TV show and talked around the game without actually explaining any of it!

Thomas finished setting up the tables for the poker night, several of the younger doctors helping to move chairs around. “And this one will be for the main event” he explained as they set a table in the middle of the room, clear space around it for people to stand and watch.

Alex wandered in, surgery finished for the day and looking for a coffee and her friend. “Thom” she looked around. “It looks nice, you should have been an event organiser” she smiled softly and stood aside as several crates of beer were moved behind the makeshift bar. “Where did you get the beer?” she asked, remembering a discussion among the senior staff on the lack of alcohol until the next supply run.

“Pfftt as if I’d share my secrets with you” Thom dusted his hands off and carefully smoothed down the green baize cloth that now adorned the centre table. “Sven, we need the chips and cards laid out on that table over there and you need to stay with them to make sure nobody tampers with them” The young doctor nodded seriously and set out the decks of cards they’d managed to scrounge from around the camp. He arranged several of his friends nearby and then stood guard over the table. 

“Oh for goodness sake” Alex muttered and nudged Thom. “Come on, let’s get some air before the hordes descend”

Thomas took one last look around the tent and nodded, it was all laid out to his satisfaction. He walked outside to catch up with Alex, handing her a bottle of beer with a wink. “We need to check that the delivery isn’t tainted” he slugged back a mouthful and walked with her to the containers lined up beside the lorries.

“This is why civilian life is better than the army” Alex sighed and sank down in the shade of one of the containers. “Apart from the bombing and guns”, she acknowledged as he looked skeptical.

“Try all of that in a hurricane” he advised, smiling as they looked at each other. “You know I’ll win horror stories, ninety-foot waves in a tin can” 

“Yeah, yeah” Alex waved her bottle at him as he settled back against the container. She had told him about the IED once, how she’d thought Bernie was dead and realising how badly injured she was when they extracted her from the wreckage. Neither of them ever spoke about it again, although he’d heard her nightmares when she fell asleep on planes or trains. “So I spoke to her after surgery this morning,” she said quietly, eyes on her boots where they dug into the sand. “Gave her a bollocking about dealing with all of that stuff with Serena’s daughter”

“And how did the good Major deal with getting ripped by a mere Captain?” he stared into his bottle.

“It sounds like it was a really rough time for both of them” Alex rubbed her thumb over the cold neck of her bottle. “I asked her why she didn’t contact me, let me support her”

“No way she would have done that” he looked at her but she didn’t look up. “It’s taken nearly a year for you both to even be civil to each other, never mind talking about stuff like that”

“I should have been there for her, she should have known I would be” Alex insisted, knowing that her guilt was irrational.

“You’re an idiot,” Thom said quietly and leaned his head back against the container, closing his eyes. “And she’s an idiot too” he continued, figuring out what else he was going to say before she hit him with her bottle. “I know that you’ve kind of come round to the fact that you’ll never be with her but you need to remember what you felt when all that was happening for them”

“Thom,” she said quietly, her voice breaking as she closed her eyes as well.

“You hated her and she was wracked with guilt over how she’d treated you” he kept going, knowing she needed to hear it and he was the only one who could say it. “When she told you about Serena at first, they weren’t together, were they?”

“No” she couldn’t get more than one word out.

“So she was madly in love with someone else but had no expectation that they’d ever be together?” he sipped from his bottle. “And she refused to let you get involved in that kind of mess again”

“What?” Alex was confused now, this wasn’t the usual ‘get over her’ speech he usually gave her,

“She was alone, but in love with someone else,” he patiently explained. “She knew she’d all but broken you by going back to the dick and I think she didn’t want to risk hurting you again”

“How would she have hurt me by giving us a chance?” Alex squinted up at him from under her hair as it fell across her face.

“Because she knew that she’d never love anyone like she did Serena, even if she could never have her” he sipped again and looked at her. “And being anything less than one hundred percent with you again would have destroyed you”

They sat in silence for several minutes, finishing their beers and watching the bustle of people moving around the camp. “I hate you” she whispered.

“I know” he answered and stood slowly, brushing sand off his trousers. “We start at seven, go have a rest and get yourself together”

*******************************

Bernie groaned and rolled over in bed “Five more minutes” 

“You’ve said that three times already,” Serena said dryly as she applied a little makeup in the totally inadequate mirror. “How on earth do you manage with this?” she turned to ask Bernie and saw the tousled hair and grumpy face glaring up at her. “Never mind” she grinned and turned back to the mirror.

“I’m getting too old for afternoon naps” Bernie yawned and stretched before rolling out of bed, looking around for her clothes.

“I don’t think it was the napping that tired you out my love” Serena leaned over and kissed her. “And you’re definitely not too old for the rest” she cupped Bernie’s smiling face in both her hands, gently rubbing her thumbs across her jaw. “Now you have a pompous German to teach a lesson before we can finish what you started earlier”

“If I really tried I could take him down several pegs in one game”Bernie jumped on the spot as she pulled her cargo trousers up, cinching the belt tight before looking for her bra. “Thanks” she blushed as Serena held it out on the end of her finger, remembering the brunette throwing it over her shoulder a couple of hours ago.

“I’m looking forward to it” Serena ran the brush through her hair once more. “Right, are you ready?” she gave the blonde a once-over. “Honestly, I didn’t think you could look any more rumpled than in those bloody scrubs but you manage it” she shook her head before resting her hands on Bernie’s waist. “Turns out I like the rumpled look”

“I promise I’ll dress up and take you out to dinner when we’re back in France” Bernie promised before kissing her thoroughly. “Now, let me brush the mop and then I’m good to go,” she said breathlessly several minutes later.

“You own a brush?” Serena asked and grinned widely at the very rude gesture Bernie sent in her direction while she brushed her hair with her other hand.

They walked towards the mess tent together, holding hands and laughing. Bernie stopped when they got to the entrance, staring at the way the tables were set out and squinting as she saw the table in the middle of the room. “Lieutenant O’Reilly!” she raised her voice, the rest of the room suddenly silenced as everyone turned to see Thom jump out of his seat and stand at attention. 

Thom shook his head as he remembered he wasn’t a lieutenant anymore, but he still walked quickly to stand at attention in front of her. “Ma’am,” he said briskly, aware of the civilians watching them both closely.

“There seems to be an arena set up in the middle of the room” she stared at him so he was the only one who saw the twinkle in her eye.

“Ma’am,” he said again, keeping eye contact and stopping himself from grinning only through years of training. 

“You want my humiliation to be a public spectacle?” she asked, feeling Serena’s fingers twitch in her hand where they were still connected.

“No ma’am” he hurriedly assured her, playing his part to perfection if he said so himself. “Like an operating theatre ma’am, everyone can learn from your teacher”

She stared at him for several seconds before slowly nodding. “Very well, carry on”

He tensed once more, almost saluting her before remembering where they were. “Ma’am,” he said and turned to walk back to the bar. “Let’s get started,” he said to the nurse who was acting as bartender for the night.

Alex grinned from where she sat at the edge of the room. She had been very tempted to heckle the pantomime performance she’d just witnessed before remembering that she had started this evening by suggesting the poker school. “Major” she rolled her eyes as Bernie finally smiled as she sat across from her. 

“Captain” Bernie took the offered bottle and handed it to Serena before taking a sip from the second bottle she was given. “That was fun,” she said quietly.

“Mmmm” Alex nodded and gestured slightly with the bottle “He’s here” 

Serena looked over her shoulder and saw several young men arrive in a group surrounding an older man. “He’s our age,” she said in surprise. “I just assumed he’d be a whippersnapper”

Alex laughed “I think he was a big fish in his own place before he decided to try this out” she gestured at their surroundings. “A few of the junior staff have said he expected to have people falling at his feet when he arrived”

“So arrogant and disappointed” Bernie winked at Alex.

“A good mix for this evening’s entertainment” Alex agreed and finished her beer. “Can I get you something else to drink?” she asked when she noticed Serena hadn’t touched her beer.

“Oh no, I’m fine thanks” Serena picked up the bottle and sipped at it, only wincing slightly. “I’m not really drinking much these days, this will do me”

Bernie squeezed her hand and stood, straightening her shirt unconsciously. “I’ll go first, get him started” she leaned down to kiss Serena’s head. “I shouldn’t be long, darling”

“Take your time, remember to put on a show” Serena whispered to her. “I’ll wait here with Alex, I’m not sure I can play act to the correct standard to be closer to the action”

Alex laughed and pulled out the chair beside her. “Best seats in the house ma’am” she brushed dust off the seat with her handkerchief before holding it for Serena. “Once more unto the breach,” she said solemnly to Bernie.

“The game’s afoot” Bernie replied equally seriously before turning and walking towards the centre table.

“Henry the fifth?” Serena leaned closer to Alex to ask.

“Lots of free time to catch up on reading in a war zone” Alex explained. They had spent many hours talking about Shakespeare and had decided that a play about war and sacrifice was particularly fitting in the circumstances. Of course, many of those discussions had taken place after they had made love, enjoying the quiet and solitude afforded in the small single room that Bernie had been allocated.

Serena watched a range of emotions cross the young woman’s face, finally seeing her shut down whatever she had been thinking. Deciding to help her move away from the painful memories she cleared her throat. “So what’s going to happen?” she asked.

“They’ll have a couple of hands where the dummkopf will explain the rules of the game” Alex nodded to the crowd gathering around the centre table. “They aren’t playing for money but that doesn’t mean that side bets won’t be happening”

“Oh, can I bet?” Serena looked excited at the prospect.

“Sure, but it might be better to wait until she’s lost the first few hands” Alex was leaning against her shoulder, speaking quietly. “The odds will be better with the teams who don’t know any better”

“You are sneaky” Serena turned her head and grinned at the brunette. 

They watched the first few hands being played slowly, the German surgeon explaining as condescendingly as possible in his flawless English. Serena played her part by clapping when Bernie seemed to ‘accidentally’ win a hand “Well done love” she shouted and saw Bernie blush. “Too much?” she asked Alex who had choked on her beer a little.

“And you thought I was sneaky” the young woman replied and shook her head. “You’re a natural at this Ms. Campbell”

The centre table took a break after half an hour, the German well pleased with her progress and wanting to be bathed in platitudes by his group before he returned to complete his victory. The rest of the tables were soon filled with various card games and the noise rose to white noise levels as Bernie wandered back to her table. “How did I do?” she asked as she sank down across from Alex and Serena.

“I’d forgotten how good you were at that” Alex winked at her. “She once fleeced an entire cadre of senior officers after one of them suggested that Doctors weren’t proper army” she explained to Serena. 

“I was younger” Bernie explained sheepishly. “And you all enjoyed the wine we took as payment” she reminded Alex of the fruits of her labour.

Serena reached across and held her hand. “Alex said I can place bets soon” she whispered. 

“Serena!” Bernie whispered fiercely before glaring at Alex. “This isn’t about money, you stop leading her astray” 

“That ship has sailed, love” Serena got her attention back. “Just a bit of fun, I promise”

“Alright” Bernie finally nodded in agreement, turning to watch the group of younger doctors who were congratulating the German on his skill. “I’m going to enjoy this” she took a long drink of her beer.

Two hours later they were walking back across the camp towards Bernie’s room. “My ribs are sore from trying not to laugh” Serena complained and rubbed her side.

“I can massage that for you” Bernie grinned hopefully.

“BW” a voice called and Bernie sighed as she turned towards the young man running towards her. “Sorry to disturb you” he nodded at Serena. “The lads wanted you to have this” he thrust an envelope at her and prepared to run off.

“Joe” Bernie stopped him from leaving as she looked inside the envelope to see a bundle of money. “What’s this for?”

“Well we certainly weren’t betting on the outcome” he assured her. “But the lads took a bit of a collection in honour of your winning hand and thought you could decide where to donate it”

“Right” Bernie nodded, completely unconvinced. “So there was an impromptu charity collection during a poker tournament?” She could hear Serena snorting with laughter beside her.

“Wasn’t really a tournament” he suggested. “More of a schooling” he raised his hands, palms up. “We were feeling benevolent in the moment” 

“Thank you” she finally said, stuffing the envelope into her pocket. “I’ll sort out where to send it in the morning” she reached out for Serena’s hand again. “I hope the team enjoys the rest of their night”

“You too ma’am” he smiled then nodded at Serena as well.

“He really is very sweet” Serena smiled after the young man as he ran off again. “Does he ever walk or drive slowly?”

“Nope,” Bernie shook her head and returned to walking. “But I can go as slowly as you want” 

*******************************

Thomas watched Alex finish her hand against a Belgian anaesthetist, narrowly winning. “Well done” he shook her hand and handed her a beer. “Last one, I’m afraid” he nodded towards the bar that was now being dismantled and returned to the normal mess tent layout now that the alcohol had run out.

“Thanks, it was probably my last one anyway” she yawned before swallowing half the bottle. “How did we do?” she asked as they moved away from the large group.

“About a hundred up on the night” he shrugged. “After Bernie spanked the old guy, everyone else got spooked and stopped betting more than a few quid here or there” he seemed a little disgruntled.

“You called her Bernie?” Alex had stopped to stare at him. “You’ve never called her that before”

“Meh,” he shrugged and dumped his empty bottle back in the crate. “She’s growing on me” he admitted and saw her grin widening. “But if you tell her I said that I’ll deny it” 

**********************************************

Serena gasped as she rolled onto her back “Bloody hell I’ve missed that” she tried to catch her breath, her arm across her eyes and waiting for the tingling to stop.

“Me too” Bernie breathed a little heavily, leaning on her elbow as she looked down at the beautiful woman beside her. “You are gorgeous” she ghosted her fingertips over Serena’s abdomen, watching the tightening of muscles as they reacted to her touch. “Does it really bother you that Alex is here?” she asked quietly.

Serena sighed, lifting her arm to peek out at the blonde briefly. “Only when you mention her so soon after orgasms” she scowled.

“Sorry” Bernie blushed and wondered again how on earth this woman put up with her. “Forgive me?” she pouted before dropping brief kisses on the brunette’s nipple.

“Ah!” Serena jumped, still too sensitive. “Bloody hell Bernie” she slid her hands into Bernie’s hair and held her head away from her body. “OK, let’s talk” she kissed her before wriggling out of bed, grabbing her t-shirt from earlier and going to sit on the single bed.

“I didn’t mean you had to get up!” Bernie turned around, missing the skin contact already.

“If we’re in bed together I don’t want to talk about other women, particularly not your ex-lovers” Serena perched her chin on her hands as she leaned on her knees. “So, ask what you want”

“I….well…….I mean….” Bernie struggled to catch up with events, she had only meant to have a quick sanity check with her partner, not a full-blown deep discussion. Blowing out a breath she ran her hand through her hair and sat up in bed, the sheet pooling at her waist. “I know you trust me but I still worry that you think Alex being here will affect us” she moved her hand between them.

“I do, it won’t, I don’t” Serena didn’t move, keeping eye contact with the blonde despite knowing that there were more interesting places to gaze at. “We done?” she asked brightly.

Bernie looked confused and shook her head. “I don’t understand”

Serena sighed and sat back, resting on hands. “In just over a year I’ve discovered a sister I never knew I had, who was dead; a nephew I never knew I had, who lived with me; an attraction for women I never knew I had, which has turned out rather spectacularly” she grinned widely, giving Bernie a glimpse of the gap in her teeth that made tingles spread all over her body. “And I lost my daughter” she coughed to clear her throat “and discovered that I can survive even that” Bernie moved to get out of bed to touch her but she waved her hand to keep her where she was. “In the scheme of things this is a minor bump in the road and I’m more worried about how Alex fairs out of this happenstance than you, to be honest”

“Alex?” Bernie was bewildered again.

“She’s struggling, this has been hard for her” Serena explained. “I didn’t consider the effect me arriving would have on her and I feel bad about that”

“When we talked earlier” Bernie had been silent for several seconds, looking at the situation from Alex’s point of view “We agreed that it would be nice to catch up every now and then, get back to being friends” 

“That’s a good idea” Serena nodded and stretched her neck, wincing at the cracks she heard. “I think I’d like to get to know her better as well, but I’ll leave that up to her”

“I’m sorry for bringing all of this up” Bernie glanced down and realised she was naked from the waist up. 

“Mmmm” Serena waved off her apology. “When we talked about how we’d spend time together when we next met, we never really covered this situation” she grinned and stood up, throwing the t-shirt onto the single bed and crawling back onto Bernie’s bed. “However will you make it up to me?”


	11. Bernie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies that I've taken so long to post another chapter, the viral thing made the plot bunnies sleep a lot over Xmas. I'm hoping to have this wound up in another chapter or two and posted in a few days

Bernie woke instantly to the long forgotten noise of a helicopter landing nearby. Sliding out of bed she tried not to disturb Serena, smiling as she immediately spread out to take up the rest of the space in the bed. “Love you” she whispered, leaning down to place a kiss gently on her head before quickly dressing and heading outside.

“BW” Joe was running towards her when he saw her emerge from the tent. “They’re over here” he pointed towards a small gathering near a civilian helicopter.

Bernie felt herself relax muscles she hadn’t even realised were tensed. “Not army” she mumbled under her breath and ran after Joe. “What’s going on?” the group turned towards her, revealing the pilot in the middle of them.

“Ma’am” he bowed as she reached him. He was young and looked scared. When the translator arrived and began a conversation with him he started explaining with his hands and rapid-fire sentences.

“There’s been a bus crash” the translator explained, never taking their eyes off the pilot as he continued to explain. “Bad…….rolled down a ravine…...people trapped…….oh boy” he trailed off and ran his hands through his hair before putting his hands over the pilots and silencing him. “Looks like the local tribal leader’s wife and children were on the bus and nobody knows how to get them out” 

“Damn” Bernie bit her lip and looked around the larger group of people who had arrived. “Right, Joe get a team together and sort out some makeshift ambulances” she waited for him to nod and run off, taking several of the support staff with him. “How far away are they?” she asked the translator and waited for his hurried conversation before he replied. “Martin?” she looked around to see if the older German surgeon was in the group, relieved when he stepped forward. “Can you get the theatres up and running please, sounds like we may have some incoming casualties in about an hour” He nodded and left, trailing a group of surgeons and theatre staff with him.

“Bern?” Alex had stepped forward, confident of what Bernie was about to suggest.

“Yeah, let’s get some trauma bags together and we can assess the scene and try to get as many back here as we can” she explained her plan to the translator and left him to sort out the pilot. “I just need to let Serena know, I’ll meet you back here in 10” she headed back towards the tent, not bothering to wait for an acknowledgment.

Alex looked at the remaining group, most of whom looked a little surprised by the turn of events. “OK, we’re moving onto module seven” she clapped her hands and the sharp sound seemed to wake most of them up. “Follow me, we’re going to put together an essential trauma kit for field extraction” she headed towards the supply tent with the remaining group following her.

“Serena” Bernie shook her shoulder gently and felt her heart melt as the woman grumpily batted away her hand. “Honey, I need you to wake up” she sat on the edge of the bed.

“Bernie?” Serena blinked several times and pushed her hair out of her eyes as she sat up.

“There’s been an RTA, not too far away” Bernie explained as she pulled on another layer of clothing. “Alex and I are heading to the scene, we’ll have multiple casualties incoming”

Serena swiped her hand across her face and pushed out of bed. “What do you need me to do?” she asked, trying to figure out why her clothes were all inside out.

Bernie blinked and looked at her. “I didn’t mean you had to do anything, just wanted to let you know I was leaving for a while”

“Love, I’m not going to lie in bed dozing while you’re dealing with something like this” Serena huffed as she finally managed to get her bra fastened, it had been a long time since she’d been awakened in the middle of the night for an emergency.

“OK, if you could help Martin get the theatres ready and try to keep the younger staff focussed that would be good” Bernie pulled her into her arms and kissed her thoroughly. “The leader of one of the local tribes is involved somehow so it might get a bit political as well” she leaned the top half of her body back, keeping them connected. “I know you’re the top expert on soothing politicians in this hemisphere” she raised her eyebrows as she noticed Serena’s breasts pushed up by their position. “Get dressed” she placed a kiss on her chest before stepping back and checking her pockets for what she’d need.

Alex was waiting beside the translator as he tried to get as much detail as possible from the pilot. “Sounds like it rolled a couple of times and it’s sitting about twenty feet down, on the bottom of a dry ravine” she explained as Bernie arrived. “Only room for three of us and a couple of bags” she pointed at the small helicopter.

“Can’t say I’ll miss the chinook’s interior design” Bernie smiled briefly before grabbing a handle and climbing into the back seat. “Let’s get moving”

Alex climbed in beside her and felt the adrenaline rush that always happened when they were on their way to a scene. It wasn’t excitement, but a heightened awareness that would let them quickly assess the priorities when they arrived at the scene. Settling back she watched the sunrise over the horizon as they flew.

****************************

Bernie wasn’t surprised to see a lot of people standing around arguing when they landed. Ignoring them all, she took the bag that Alex handed her and strode towards the edge of the ravine, gauging the drop and whether they’d be able to get down there safely. “Tell them to start sorting out ropes and anything we can use to get people up the slope, then follow us down,” she told the translator and started down slowly. 

“I’ll take the ones who’ve been thrown clear” Alex said and headed towards a casualty partway down the hill. Quickly checking for life signs she shook her head and moved to the next.

Bernie stood a little back from the wreckage, the roof had almost completely ripped off so at least she wouldn’t have to worry about the lack of heavy lifting gear to get into the casualties. Turning she saw the translator slide the last few steps and put her hand out to steady them. “I need you to stay beside me and tell them exactly what I say” she kept eye contact with the young man as he gulped and nodded. “You’re going to see some scary things so try not to throw up on anyone” she patted his arm and headed towards the back of the bus.

*************************************

Serena had a huddled conversation with several of the younger doctors, running through the kind of injuries she’d seen from similar accidents and listening as they explained their areas of expertise. Walking towards the older surgeon she waited for him to finish his conversation before smiling at him. “Serena Campbell, consultant surgeon” she held out her hand. “On sabbatical at the moment but I run an emergency admissions unit back in England” 

Martin smiled at her. “You’re Ms. Wolfe’s partner” he shook her hand firmly. “I didn’t get a chance to meet you properly last night” he grinned. “It’s good that you’re here, another skilled pair of hands is going to be helpful”

“I’m afraid I’ll have to be a skilled pair of eyes” she shrugged. “I’ve been signed off on medical grounds so I can’t practice”

“This is a teaching facility after all” he nodded as a nurse asked him a question. “Could you take care of this theatre and I’ll run the other one?”

Serena nodded, pleased that he hadn’t needed any more detail on her medical leave. “Of course” she waited for him to leave before straightening her shoulders and looking around. “OK people, let’s have a quick chat before we get started”

***************************************************

Alex grunted as she knelt beside Bernie, eyes scanning the open fracture and what Bernie had done so far. “Eight dead, most of those thrown clear,” she said quietly.

“You OK?” Bernie asked, never taking her eyes off the wound she was carefully packing and bandaging.

“Knees not used to slopes and bending down these days” Alex shrugged and handed Bernie the tape she needed. “What do you need?” she asked scanning the remaining casualties.

“That woman over there, broken arm, trapped by the seat” Bernie carefully shifted to get at the next wound on the patient. “Can you grab a couple of the boys and get her free?” 

Alex nodded and stood slowly, flexing her knee. “The ambulances are here” she looked up as they both heard the noise of diesel engines in the relatively quiet scene.

“OK, this one first and then we can see what we’re left with” Bernie finished splinting the broken leg as well as she could.

Joe coordinated the group of young doctors, each one assigned a casualty and the injuries catalogued by either Bernie or Alex. “Do your own assessment, they’re not infallible” he reminded them and saw Bernie smile. “Sorry boss” 

“Not at all, very good advice” she pulled off another pair of gloves, dumping them in her bag and pulling on a clean pair. “Each one of you will be responsible for getting these people back to their families so be sure you know everything about their presenting injuries before we move them” The doctors nodded and began checking over patients, falling into practice as the scene around them fell away. One or two looked nervously at the growing line of bodies that Joe was removing from the scene and laying out with the help of a couple of local villagers. 

“This one first Joe, then those two over there” Bernie stood and stretched her back. “Alex?” she waited for the brunette to look up. “Do we need to prioritise her?”

“Broken arm, not too bad actually” Alex blew her hair out of her eyes. “She can wait, that woman over there needs to be assessed again”

“Oh?” Bernie moved towards the woman she’d seen earlier. “Why?”

“Breath sounds are a bit off on the right side” Alex returned her attention to the makeshift splint she was finishing, turning back towards Bernie when the young woman passed out again from the pain. “I checked her while they finished moving the seat” she pointed towards the mangled metal seat that was lying a couple of feet away.

Bernie knelt down beside the older woman, listening to both sides of her chest. “Damn, good catch” she squinted her eyes and tried to figure out what was pinning the woman in place. “Joe I need a crowbar or something” she shouted over her shoulder.

“Ma’am” Joe arrived a minute later, carrying two tire irons “Closest thing we have, what do you need?” he looked at the wreckage. “That spar there?” he pointed at a metal tube that was at right angles underneath the patient. “Looks like it’s wedged that piece of roof over there”

Bernie stood back and tried to follow the mangled metal. “It’s like that game I used to play with the kids” she muttered under her breath.

“Kerplunk” Joe nodded his agreement. “Let me try this” he carefully levered the tire iron against the spar, pushing his weight slowly onto it to gauge what the movement would do. “Yep, that’ll work” he grunted as he took the second tire iron Bernie held out for him and levered it closer to the obstruction. The translator had been standing beside them, trying to figure out what they were trying to achieve. “Thanks, mate” Joe kept fit but his arms were starting to shake as he held the weight of the tangled metal with one arm and tried to move the first tire iron closer to the pivot point. Between them, they managed to create enough of a gap that Bernie could slowly drag the older woman clear. 

“Good work” she acknowledged as they let the metal clang back into place. “I need to keep an ambulance free for this one, just let me do the assessment again” she began checking vital signs, moving her hands over limbs and ribs to find anything broken.

After three hours they had managed to clear the scene. The last ambulance trundled slowly towards the road, avoiding the large pothole that had presumably caused the accident in the first place. Alex was gratefully accepting a drink from the local villagers who had gathered to help them. “Can you thank them for their help, they’ve saved lives today” she directed to the translator who passed on her thanks. “Bernie?” she held out the water skin to the blonde. “You OK?”

“I’m fine, just aching a bit” Bernie smiled after sipping some water. “This is a young woman’s game”

“Hey, some of us still consider ourselves to be young” Alex bumped her shoulder.

Bernie stretched her back before glancing around to make sure they hadn’t left any equipment or waste at the scene. “Let’s head back, see how they’re coping”

They took their leave from the grateful villagers, shaking lots of hands and refusing offers of food. “Did he really want us to take the goat with us in the helicopter?” Alex laughed as they took off and headed back to base.

“The girl with the broken arm, who was trapped?” the translator turned to see Alex nod before continuing. “She is the eldest daughter of the tribal leader, you could have had all of their goats” he grinned.

Bernie laughed and the pilot looked round in shock, causing all of them to laugh even harder. “The last ambulance” Bernie pointed out the window a while later at the small puffs of dust thrown up by the converted land rover.

“They’re lucky it happened so close” Alex suggested as they waited for the helicopter to land some minutes later. “We should be able to save most of them”

“Let’s see how they’re getting on” Bernie marched towards the operating theatres before looking down at herself. “Shower first” she suggested and they headed to get changed.

Serena looked up as Bernie moved silently into the room. “Hello you” she scanned the blonde to check for injuries. “How did it go?”

“Nine dead at the scene before we arrived” Bernie crossed her arms and glanced around the theatre, pleased to see that everyone was working quietly on the patient. “We managed to get everyone else into an ambulance, how are you coping?”

Serena decided to interpret the question as a work query. “We’ve had two patients through here already, first was a reset on a broken leg and this one looks like a ruptured spleen” Bernie squinted at her girlfriend and waited for her to continue. “Alright, yes” Serena finally caved. “It is incredibly frustrating not to be operating myself”

“It won’t be long now, love” Bernie assured her. “Martin’s just finishing up on the open fracture, I’m going to triage the incoming” she left Serena to run the theatre and headed towards the final ambulance they could here trundling into camp.

**************************************************

“Teaching has made you both soft” Thomas sighed as he sat beside his friends, stretching his legs out in front of him.

“You weren’t pulling a bus apart” Alex complained, her foot resting on another chair to keep the ice pack on her knee.

“We’re not soft, just old” Bernie winced as she tried changing position to lessen the shooting pain in her back.

Serena walked into the tent, grabbing a coffee and several bottles of water. “Is the swelling going down?” she handed Alex a bottle of water and sat beside Bernie. 

“It’ll be fine by tomorrow” Alex gulped down half of the bottle. “Thanks”

“Get one of the ortho guys to check it out for you in the morning” Bernie muttered from under her hair, head resting on her forearms that laid on the edge of the table. She heard Alex sigh and was about to argue when she felt Serena’s hand resting gently between her shoulder blades.

“Did you lift something again?” she asked softly as Alex and Thom argued about her chances of recuperating in twenty-four hours.

“Bending over too long” Bernie mumbled. “I’d be fine if we had a hot tub in the camp”

“Oh yes,” Alex groaned and shifted slightly. “Remember that time…” she trailed off, listening to the part of her brain that was screaming about the audience she was about to share that memory with.

Bernie tried to sit up quickly, to forestall whatever part of the story Alex had been about to tell. “Shit” she swore under her breath as her neck spasmed.

“Right, that’s quite enough of that” Serena pointed at a blushing Alex. “You need to go and lie down with some more ice on that” she waited for the nod of agreement before turning to Bernie. “And you need to get back to bed while I check what’s going on with your neck”

“Come on” Thom ducked under Alex’s arm and helped her limp towards their tent. “You can finish the tale of debauchery” he waved over his shoulder at the others.

“I’m sorry” Bernie started to lift her hand to run through her messy hair but her shoulder protested and she closed her eyes. 

“It’s OK, love” Serena waited for the blonde to stand before circling her waist and squeezing gently. “Unless you were in a hot tub with Alex in the last few months, that is?” she raised one eyebrow.

“Hah,” Bernie walked gingerly, leaning against Serena. “You’re not funny”

Serena concentrated on getting them both back to their tent, pulling the scrub top off the blonde and encouraging her to lie flat on her stomach on the bed. “I’ll be back in 2 mins, don’t go anywhere” she dropped a kiss on Bernie’s head. Heading back to the theatres she bumped into one of the nurses and explained what she needed.

Bernie concentrated on trying to relax, slowing her breathing and testing some basic stretches to see if the shooting pains still happened when she moved. She heard Serena talking to someone just outside their tent before the brief draught of air heralded her return. “I’m sorry” she sighed.

“It’s alright” Serena set several bottles and packs down on the small table. “I knew what I was taking on when I got involved with an older woman” she kissed the blonde’s shoulder and ignored the grumbles coming from her partner. “Shush and tell me where it hurts”

Bernie knew she was being grumpy with the one person who could actually help her and tried to concentrate on the sure touches moving from her lower back up towards her shoulders and neck. “There,” she winced and held her breath as the pain subsided. “Couple of painkillers and I’ll be fine” she tried to convince herself.

“Such a bloody martyr” Serena mumbled and squeezed out the anti-inflammatory gel. “This will be cold” she warned seconds before running her hands across both shoulder blades. “I did warn you” she wasn’t enjoying her partner’s pain but couldn’t resist teasing her a little. “For a macho army medic, you are a bit of a wimp”

“Oh shut up” Bernie huffed and waited for the gel and massage to loosen off the tight muscles. 

“Better?” Serena asked several minutes later. She’d lost herself somewhere between providing a therapeutic massage and loving the feeling of the muscles relaxing under her hands.

“Mmmm” Bernie moaned. “Magic hands” she slowly turned over, grasping Serena’s hands between her own.

“None of that” Serena chided. “When do you need to go back to the wards?”

“Martin was in his element so I told him I’d come back over after lunch” she yawned, apparently it wasn’t just her neck and back feeling relaxed. “Lie down with me?” she tugged on the brunette’s hands.

Serena glanced at her watch “I suppose we can nap for an hour” she toed off her boots before throwing her t-shirt and trousers onto the other bed.

“Been a while since I had to get out of bed for surgery like that” she yawned as well, Bernie’s efforts to kick off her own trousers allowing her the chance to lean back and admire her figure. “You are beautiful” she smiled at the shocked look she received from her partner. “Oh come on, don’t deny it”

“I’m old and scarred and achey and grumble a lot” Bernie reminded her, sliding into bed beside her and dropping a kiss on her smile.

“Mmmm maybe that’s what I like in a woman?” Serena looked confused at the thought. “Well that and being a cracking snog”

“Shut up” Bernie grinned and pulled Serena closer, kissing her to stifle whatever her reply would have been.

********************

“Honestly, I don’t think she minds” Thomas tried to persuade Alex. “She seems sort of….I don’t know…...confident?”

“She’s a surgeon, of course she’s confident” Alex reminded him of their general view of surgeons being insufferably arrogant at times.

“Well yes but it’s more than that” he tried to find the correct words to explain. “She seems to be smart enough to know that Bernie had a past but that she’s with her now”

Alex lay on the bed, gently flexing her foot to stretch out the muscles in her lower leg. “I know what you mean” she nodded and put both hands behind her head. “I like her” she admitted quietly.

“Oh yeah, she’s one of the good ones” he nodded in agreement. “Although I don’t think I’d like to piss her off”

Alex laughed at his raised eyebrow and her mental image of Serena eviscerating a junior doctor with a few well-crafted sentences. “How on earth does Bern manage?” they both laughed at the image of the blonde trying not to do or say the wrong thing. “She’s a walking disaster zone when it comes to saying exactly the wrong thing”

“Maybe she’s not, with her?” he suggested quietly and watched the smile drop from Alex’s face. “Sorry” 

“No, it’s OK” she waved off his apology. “Maybe you’re right, maybe that’s another sign that we’d never have worked outside of our little bubble”

“I can go back to hating her if that would help?” he had waited for several minutes, watching memories and sadness flicker across his friend’s face. 

“And risk the wrath of Serena?” Alex smiled, raising her own eyebrow as he shook his head vigorously. “I didn’t think so”

“So, tell me all about the hot tub” he grinned when she groaned and pulled the pillow from under her head and against her face.


	12. Serena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines Day....or as I call it, Wednesday :)

Two days after the incident the entire team was standing in front of the mess tent, facing a large group of people from the nearest village. “She’s actually quite good at this kind of thing” Serena leaned closer to Martin, whispering as she waved her hand towards the front of the group where Bernie was having a serious conversation with the head man of the village.

“I thought you worked together?” he looked a little surprised that Serena seemed to be unaware of this side of her partner.

“Oh, we do” Serena looked confused as she tried to figure out where she’d gone wrong. “But she’s always told me that I’m the diplomat and the best to deal with bureaucracy” she blinked in surprise that she’d never questioned Bernie’s implied criticism of her own skills.

“Ah, she is either trying to flatter you or avoid dealing with bureaucracy” he smiled at her indignant look.

“She is in so much trouble” Serena squinted at her partner before laying her hand on Martin’s arm. “It is different out here though” she acknowledged. “NHS managers very rarely carry guns into meetings” They fell into silence as they listened to the translator efficiently detail the village leader’s reply to Bernie’s assurances.

“They are welcome to visit with some of the patients, but perhaps only one or two at each bed” Bernie suggested, aware that she couldn’t actually stop them all trooping onto the makeshift ward if they wanted to. 

“He agrees, the rest will wait here” the translator gestured to the patch of ground behind the mess tent.

“They are welcome to join us inside, we were about to serve lunch and I’m sure we can find something they would be able to eat” Bernie nodded to a couple of the support staff and they ran off to set up more tables and chairs.

******************

Serena politely listened to the translator and nodded agreement to the young woman sitting in front of her. “The cast will be removed tomorrow and we’ll check how well the arm is healing before putting on a new cast” she waited patiently for the update to be relayed. “After that, she can return home, we’ll only need to see her in six weeks to remove it altogether”

“She is worried that her hand will always be swollen” the translator explained, looking concerned himself.

“It won’t, the swelling will go down in a day or two” Serena laid her hand on the woman’s other arm. “I broke my arm in a similar place when I was six years old” she held up her arm for the woman to see that she had recovered completely. The three-way conversation lasted for several more minutes, Serena causing them all to laugh at the explanation of her falling out of a tree when her cat decided to rescue itself.

“Ms. Campbell” Bernie stood at the end of the bed. “Everything OK?” she picked up the notes and read through them, more to avoid touching Serena than because she expected anything to have changed in the last thirty minutes.

“Everything is fine” Serena smiled at the girl again and stood beside Bernie. “Was there anything else you wanted me to do?”

Bernie opened her mouth with a reply of exactly what she wanted Serena to do, snapping it shut a second later and taking a deep breath. “I think we’re done here for a few hours, perhaps we can take a look at those staff evaluations?” she kept her head down, not noticing that the notes in her hand were upside down.

“I have the paperwork in my tent” Serena smoothly took the notes from Bernie’s hand and replaced them at the end of the bed. She nodded to some of the villagers and younger doctors who hovered around the makeshift ward, making her way across the compound towards their tent.

Bernie stuck her hands in her pockets and asked one of the nurses to tell Martin that she was busy for the next hour or two. She walked quickly to the mess tent and grabbed several bottles of water before marching to their tent. “About that paperwork……” she started, attempting a flirtatious tone, however, the sight of Serena lying on their bed, naked, robbed her of the ability to talk. “Serena” she whispered before dropping the water on the floor and kicking off her shoes. “You’re going to be the death of me” she smiled softly, seemingly unconcerned at her imminent demise.

“Only la petite mort, my love” Serena pulled her into her arms, kissing her slowly.

**********************************

Thomas added his initials to the notes he held before handing them over to the nurse in the recovery bay. “Did you want to grab a cuppa?” he asked Alex.

“I have ward rounds in five minutes but I can meet you over there in thirty?” she replaced her stethoscope around her neck and nodded to the nurse who was hovering beside the bed. The nurse waited until he had left before clearing her throat and glancing around. “He’s gone” Alex smiled as she finished updating the patient notes. “Are you still on for dinner later?”

“If you’re sure?” the redhead looked around again. “And Ms. Wolfe won’t mind?”

Alex pinched the bridge of her nose, trying not to lose her temper. “We’re only having dinner, besides Bernie and I are ancient history” she looked up at the younger woman. “Look Jan, if you don’t want to, I’ll understand”

“No, I do” Jan frowned. “Sorry, I don’t usually get involved with people from work, that’s all”

Alex nodded “Very wise, trust me” she shrugged and left for her ward rounds.

Thomas was sipping tea and reading a book when Alex found him. “Hey you” he folded down the corner of the page and shook his head at Alex’s wince. “You look grumpy” he cheerfully pointed out.

“I know” she sat down across the table from him and rubbed her face with her hands, sighing deeply. “When did life get so complicated?” she rested her chin on her hand. 

“Around about the time you decided to fall in love with your commanding officer?” he suggested, without the usual snark.

“It’s not Bernie, well not exactly” she shook her head. “Jan’s worried about dinner tonight”

“Well I’m not exactly confident that they can pull off shepherd’s pie either” he shrugged.

“Idiot” Alex threw her empty water bottle at him. “She keeps asking if Bernie will be alright with us having dinner together”

“How does she even know you were knocking boots?” he frowned.

“Really…...now is the time to break out your wild west comedy act?” Alex glared at him.

*******************************************************

Serena yawned and stretched her arms above her head. “I do miss having a headboard” she sighed.

Bernie looked up from nibbling on the brunette’s shoulder “You need something to hold onto?” she smirked.

“Not for that” Serena slapped one hand down on Bernie’s shoulder before pulling her closer and bending down to kiss her. “I just miss having a proper stretch” she muttered between nips and kisses.

“I miss running on a proper pavement” Bernie sighed and squinted at the brunette who was grinning down at her. “I know it’s awful for my ancient knees, but I like the hard sound of running on tarmac” 

“I’ll look after your ancient knees when they finally give up the ghost” Serena kissed her gently before wincing and trying to stretch again. “Actually I think I just hate this bed” she shuffled out from underneath Bernie and stood beside the bed, her hands on her lower back as she arched.

“The cottage had a great mattress” Bernie acknowledged, her hands behind her head as she appreciated the view.

“Mmmmm we had some fun there but I can’t wait to get back home” Serena bent over to rest her hands on her knees, missing the frown that passed across the blonde’s face. “Are you still sure you want to move in?” she started pulling underwear on.

“I want to fall asleep beside you every night and wake up with you every morning” Bernie had become adept at not really answering the question over the last few weeks.

Serena had turned round to find her shirt, hiding her face from the blonde while she closed her eyes and bit her lip. “Good, good” she kept facing away from Bernie while she fastened her shirt, pulling on her trousers before turning back to the bed. “For some reason, I suddenly feel very hungry” she tried to return to the flirting that they’d been enjoying after their impromptu afternoon delight. She deliberately let her eyes travel from Bernie’s, down the naked top half of her body until they reached where the sheet had pooled around her waist. “For food this time” she licked her lips and enjoyed the blush running down Bernie’s neck.

“Early dinner it is then, got to keep our strength up” Bernie rose and pulled on her own clothes, snagging one of the bottles of water she’d brought and drinking half of it before offering the rest to Serena. 

Serena reached out to hold Bernie’s hand as they left the tent, walking towards the mess tent and what smelled almost like shepherd’s pie. She knew she’d have to address their return to Holby and find out what was bothering Bernie but she just wanted one more day before triggering what may be a Kiev-rivalling moment of misunderstanding between them. Ignored the small voice inside her head reminding her that she’d been using that excuse for several weeks and it would soon be too late. They walked into the tent and allowed a few seconds for their eye’s to adjust to the relative darkness. “Why does Alex look so annoyed, we’ve just got here?” she tilted her head and watched the younger woman lean in towards a pretty redhead who was standing beside her.

Alex put her arm around Jan’s waist, hoping she wouldn’t turn around and see who had just arrived. “So, if we were at home I’d be suggesting a movie after dinner,” she said quietly into her ear.

“I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t have even made it as far as dinner if we were at home” Jan smiled to let her know she didn’t mind. “And I know that Bernie is here, it was only a wobble earlier, I’m sorry”

“There’s nobody here but you and I” Alex whispered.

“Oh spare me the lines Dr. Dawson” Jan nudged Alex with her shoulder “You’re not the only hot lesbian in the camp” she nodded her head towards where Serena was sitting waiting for Bernie.

“Hey!” Alex protested, raising her hand as Serena smiled at her. “Let’s sit over there” she gestured towards the other end of the tent as she lifted their tray.

Serena watched Alex and the nurse move away and returned her attention to Bernie as she placed a plate of food in front of her. “She was being quite handsy with that nurse” she nodded towards them and squinted at the forkful of food she had in her hand. “Is this supposed to be…” 

“Yeah, I’m not sure Jason would approve” Bernie smiled and tucked into the minced beef and potato. After swallowing the mouthful she nodded her head at a suspicious Serena “It’s OK though”

“Mmm,” Serena slowly chewed her own food before shrugging and agreeing that it was at least warm and fairly flavourful, even if the flavours weren’t expected. “What’s going on with Alex then?” she finally remembered what she’d been talking about.

Bernie looked over her shoulder and squinted at Alex and her companion. “Oh, right, that must be Jan” she turned back and shoveled more food into her mouth.

“And” Serena ate more slowly.

“They’re on a date” Bernie smiled and opened her bottle of water. “Apparently I’m not supposed to know”

“Why?” Serena glanced over Bernie’s shoulder again, trying to watch the couple without making it obvious.

“Ah, well, according to Thom” Bernie took another drink to wash down the last of her food. “Jan is worried that I’ll be insanely jealous and put my ninja training to use by hunting her down”

Serena stared at Bernie as she deciphered what she’d heard. She blinked slowly, twice, before deciding which part of it to query first “Ninja?”

“Didn’t you know, everyone in the Army is trained in how to kill people with their little finger….or something” Bernie looked confused as well now. “I think Thom may have helped spread that ridiculous rumour actually”

“Even if your little finger was that talented, why would you kill her with it?” Serena agreed that it did sound like the kind of rumour that the young man would deliberately not correct.

“You’re saying my fingers aren’t talented?” Bernie faked shock and sat back in her chair.

“Oh shut up and stop fishing for compliments” Serena grinned and risked another look over Bernie’s shoulder. “Does she think you’re still with Alex?”

“Not with her, more she’s the one that got away” Bernie grinned and closed her eyes, remembering the rooftop at Holby in more complicated times.

“Right, so I’m the one you settled for?” Serena raised her eyebrow and saw Bernie sit up straighter in her chair. Part of her was delighted to know that the left eyebrow still had the power to make grown women stiffen their spines, but she kept the knowledge to herself for now.

“Clearly she’s delusional” Bernie assured her. “Anyway, Thom seemed to think Alex would persuade Jan that she was worth risking the wrath of Wolfe for”

“She must be a cracking snog to risk the ninja wrath of Wolfe for” Serena licked her lips and managed to keep the smirk hidden.

“Serena!” Bernie said, perhaps a little louder than she meant as several tables of people stopped talking and looked towards them. 

“Let’s say hello” Serena stood and started walking towards the other couple before Bernie could react.

“What, no” Bernie hissed and jumped out of her seat to race after her.

Alex was regaling the nurse with an outrageous tale of a strip club in Germany and didn’t notice the women heading towards them. “Serena?” she asked as the woman stopped at the side of their table.

“Alex” Serena smiled before turning and holding her hand out to the surprised redhead “You must be Jan”

Jan shook her hand without processing what she was doing, half standing from her chair. “Hi” she looked at Alex in confusion.

“Serena” Bernie arrived at the table as well, looking sheepishly at Alex before smiling at the other woman. “Sorry Jan didn’t mean to disturb your dinner” she put her hand on Serena’s elbow and tried to guide her away.

“In a minute Bernie” Serena shrugged free of her hand. “She is insatiable” she winked at Jan and heard both Bernie and Alex gasp. “You’re a theatre nurse?” she asked politely.

“Erm, yes” Jan glanced quickly at Alex and was relieved to see her looking just as confused as she felt. “I work in the recovery room here but I trained and worked in Liverpool”

“Ah, I’ve never been to Liverpool, perhaps we should visit when we get back?” she suggested without expecting an answer from the blonde. “I leave in a couple of days but we’ll both be back in good old rainy Britain by the end of next month”

“OK” Jan tried to ignore the relatively famous trauma surgeon who was currently running her hands through her hair and looking mortified. “Sorry, you’re leaving early?” she caught up with what Serena was saying.

“Ah, I’m only a visitor, not actually working here” Serena turned towards Bernie and held out her hand, relieved to see that she still grasped it even if she was probably in the doghouse for this little stunt. “We just couldn’t bear to be apart until Bernie leaves” she kissed the back of the stunned blonde’s hand. “There’s only so much you can do with facetime, don’t you think?”

All three women were now staring at her in bewilderment, although Jan seemed to recover first and a grin spread across her face. “Yes, it’s so much better in person” she agreed and saw the wink from Serena that neither Bernie nor Alex could see.

“Good, well we’d better let you get back to dinner” she nodded to the young woman before turning to Alex and smiling at her. “Ladies, enjoy your evening” she tugged on Bernie’s hand and walked out of the tent.

“What on earth?” Bernie asked as she trailed along behind Serena.

“You are adorably slow on the uptake when it comes to relationships, darling” Serena turned away from their tent, heading towards a small stand of trees in the distance.

“I knew about us before you did” Bernie defended herself.

“And then decided we could switch off those feelings after we’d snogged like teenagers” Serena reminded her. “Don’t worry, these days I find it endearing” she assured her and kissed her hand again, concentrating on the fingers wound between her own this time.

“Stop distracting me with your womanly wiles” Bernie smiled despite her protests. “Tell me what you just did?” 

Serena sighed and stopped walking, pulling the blonde into her arms and kissing her softly. “Jan was worried that you were pining after Alex so I explained to her that you had someone else to pine over” she kissed the protests from Bernie’s lips. “I also suggested that having a warm body in your arms was much better than a warm tablet in your hand”

“You did?” Bernie couldn’t remember any of that being mentioned but she had spent a large part of the conversation wishing that the ground would open up and swallow them all. “I mean, it is” she caught up with the program and kissed Serena back.

********************

Alex slowly chewed the remainder of her dinner, glancing up at her date and sighing. “Sorry” 

“What for?” Jan settled back in her chair, smiling at the confused anaesthetist. “Have you changed your mind?”

“Of course not” Alex assured her, pushing her plate away. “I’m not sure what Serena was doing though”

“I know and it was very sweet of her” the redhead glanced down at her hands, not sure whether her next question would be welcomed. “So, did I mention that I have some movies with me?”

Alex was still confused but recalled their earlier discussion. “You did not, how about a walk and then an early night with a movie?”


	13. Thomas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one might be a teensy bit angsty!

Thomas sat in the mess tent, reading his book. Many of his colleagues carried e-readers but he much preferred the feel of a paperback in his hands and when Alex teased him about it he agreed that it would be impractical for her to carry hard copies of her enormous erotica collection, that usually stopped the conversation. “Serena” he looked up as she sat across from him. “Everything OK?” he asked, she looked far from happy.

“Fine, fine” Serena stared into her coffee mug, avoiding making eye contact.

“BB OK?” he tried humour to gauge her reaction.

“Mmmm” the brunette nodded vaguely, sipping her coffee before coming to a decision. “Do you love your job?” she finally met his eyes.

“Nobody is shooting at us” he shrugged.

“So if someone offered you an easy life back in Britain, would you turn them down?” she cleared her throat.

“She didn’t!” he stared at her in shock.

“Who didn’t what?” Alex asked as she sat next to Serena.

“It’s nothing to fuss about,” Serena said, looking over her shoulder. “So, how did the date go last night?” she tried to smile at Alex and almost managed.

Alex looked at Thom and he shook his head slightly so she turned back to the older woman and tried to distract her. “It went well, thank you, even if I still don’t really understand what you were trying to do”

Serena finally smiled and blushed a little. “Well it seemed like a good idea at the time, did Jan get the message?”

“Yep, loud and clear” Alex waggled her eyebrows and grinned.

***************************************

Bernie had woken on her own in the bed, which suddenly seemed too large for just one person. Frowning she blinked and felt around with her hand to make sure that Serena wasn’t hiding beside her, eventually accepting that her partner wasn’t asleep. “Serena?” she asked hoarsely, clearing her throat and smiling at the memory of why her voice sounded so gravelly.

Several minutes later she had pulled on some clothes and dragged a brush through her hair before wandering towards the mess tent. “Joe” she raised her voice as the young man jogged past her. “Have you seen Serena?”

“She’s in there, having coffee with Alex and Thom” he pointed over his shoulder without slowing his pace.

Bernie shrugged and walked a little more quickly, the lure of coffee almost as much of an incentive as her girlfriend. “Serena!” she waved and mimed pouring coffee, getting her own when the others shook their heads. “Hello love” she kissed the top of Serena’s head and sat down across from her. “Morning” she raised her mug to the others before noticing that they had all stopped talking when she arrived. Raising her eyebrow at Serena had no effect as the woman was staring into her own mug so she redirected it to Alex.

Alex coughed, still not sure what was going on with the two older women but knowing that she didn’t want to get in the middle of it. “Rounds start in 30 minutes, were you hoping to discharge the majority of patients today?”

Bernie frowned at the abrupt move to shop talk but slid easily back into a discussion of the various injuries and patients. She talked to Alex and Thomas but kept Serena in her peripheral vision, replaying what they had talked about the previous evening. “I’ll meet you over there in a while” she nodded as the others left, finally turning to Serena and laying one hand on the table, waiting for Serena to place her own on top. “What did I do?” she asked softly.

“What do you mean?” Serena asked, running her fingertips gently over Bernie’s wrist, fiddling with her necklace with her other hand.

“The last thing I remember before I fell asleep was a much happier look on your face, darling” She leaned down to try to catch Serena’s eye. “So I assume I said or did something just before you made me pass out or during my sleep” she shrugged.

Serena sighed and held onto Bernie’s hand properly. “First of all, I didn’t make you pass out” she squeezed the hand in her’s. “Secondly, we probably need to have a chat after you’ve finished your rounds” she finally made eye contact, seeing the frown lines around Bernie’s eyes. 

Bernie held her gaze for several seconds, tilting her head slightly before sighing loudly and looking around the tent. “Martin!” she waved at the German doctor who was chatting to some of his colleagues. “Can you take my rounds this morning?” she tightened her grip as Serena tried to remove her hand. 

“Of course” he nodded at both of them.

“You didn’t need to do that” Serena had returned to staring at her coffee mug.

“I promised that you’d always come first, Serena” Bernie whispered, lifting their joined hands to kiss the brunette’s fingers. “Whatever I’ve done I need to fix, I hate seeing you worried”

Serena nodded and led them both out of the tent, keeping a strong grip on the blonde’s hand. “Can we get away from here for a while?” she looked around uncertainly.

Bernie headed for the command tent, explaining that she needed to borrow a jeep for a couple of hours and promising to avoid the larger potholes. “Did you want to drive?” she offered the key to Serena and laughed at the definite shake of her head in reply. “I’ll take it slowly” she promised as they pulled out of the camp.

An hour later they were sitting on the edge of a small lake, leaning against one of the wheels of the dusty jeep. Serena swallowed nervously, her mouth dry despite the water they were drinking regularly. She turned to see Bernie’s profile, wondering again how it had taken so long for her to notice the attraction she felt tugging at her whenever she was this close to the blonde. “You’re beautiful” she whispered and smiled at the surprised look she received in reply. “I’m sorry I’ve been out of sorts today”

“Tell me” Bernie had turned onto her hip, raising one knee and sliding her sunglasses into her hair. “Tell me what’s wrong, give me the chance to make it right”

“You don’t want to go back, do you?” Serena ran her left thumb across Bernie’s cheek, able to feel the flinch in the muscles. “I can’t say I blame you, Holby City and hip replacements would be a criminal waste of your skills”

“I’d operate on ingrown toenails if it meant I was with you” Bernie argued, but she couldn’t meet Serena’s eyes. 

“And I’d never forgive myself for making you miserable” Serena replied, her hand now resting on Bernie’s knee. “What do you really want to do?” 

“In an ideal world….” Bernie sighed, knowing she was going to have to be honest and deal with whatever the fallout was. 

“Hah” Serena interrupted her “In an ideal world we’d be in that little Italian place working our way through their wine list”

“Well yes” Bernie agreed and smiled at the memory. “But that’s not really a job, for me anyway” she twisted to avoid the tweak that Serena tried to deliver to her waist, catching her hand and kissing the palm slowly. They stared at each other until she knew she had run out of time. “Honestly, I’m dreading going back to work at Holby but can’t wait to move in with you and maybe even Jason” she dared to glance up through the tendrils of hair that had escaped her glasses.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Serena asked, glad that Bernie didn’t have a problem with their personal plans. 

“I’ve known since I left Holby” Bernie admitted. “I failed you, let the ward down and there isn’t anything left for me there”

“Don’t you say that!” Serena turned and knelt beside the blonde, lifting her chin to make her look up. “You’ve never failed me and it’s my fault that they took away your trauma ward” she pulled Bernie into a hug, holding on until she felt it returned. “I had to get away, remove myself from the hospital and the people there, but I should have known the vultures would be circling to take advantage” she pulled back, both hands holding the blonde’s head. “I am so sorry that I wasn’t there to keep their grubby hands off of your trauma unit”

“Our unit,” Bernie said softly.

“Do you think you can put up with moving in part-time?” Serena swallowed nervously, she didn’t have another strategy if this failed.

“What?” Bernie had been staring into the brown eyes so close to her own, not understanding the question. “You don’t want me to move in?”

“I want you to live with me, Jason and me, if you’ll have us” Serena leaned forward and kissed the uncertainty away from Bernie’s face. “Do you think you could work here for two months and then be home for two months, at a time?”

“I want to be with you” Bernie licked her lips, glad when Serena’s eyes tracked the movement. “I’ve hated being apart”

“Me too, darling, so much” Serena leaned in and kissed her again, relieved that Bernie returned this one a little more enthusiastically. “I can’t ask you to give up the rest of your life for me”

“It’s hardly a hardship to wake up to you every morning and go to work in an actual hospital” Bernie protested, although the small hope that Serena offered her had already lifted some of the dread.

“It would be everything I could wish for, but not your every wish” Serena sat back, giving Bernie some space.

Bernie watched Serena compose herself, marveling at the strength in her partner. “This reminds me of our first kiss” she smiled and cocked her head to the side, remembering the theatre floor.

“Ah, the good old days of Sapphic angst fests in theatre” Serena grinned and leaned in to kiss the blonde again. “I’m so glad you were brave enough”

“I’d been wimping out for weeks” Bernie smiled, glad to lessen the drama a little. “I was petrified that you’d report me to HR and I’d get sacked”

Serena blinked and thought back to the moment of complete shock followed by a moment of complete clarity. “Just as well I snogged you back then, wasn’t it?” 

“It was a bit of a shock” Bernie huffed out a laugh. “Why doesn’t it get easier?” she asked leaning her head back against the body of the jeep. “I finally find the person I want to spend the rest of my life with and we’re going to be on different bloody continents”

“Only some of the time, we can make it work, meet half-way sometimes?” Serena was thinking on her feet, she hadn’t planned any further than the initial suggestion. “We’re smart women, we can figure this out”

“We are pretty fabulous at phone sex” Bernie rolled her head and squinted against the sun.

***************************************

Alex was deep in conversation with one of the younger anaesthetists when Martin approached them. She finished her explanation before turning to smile at him, he had loosened up after the poker night and was actually quite entertaining now that the chip had fallen off his shoulder. “Mr. Hahn?”

“Dr. Dawson” he handed her some patient notes and waited while she scanned them and initialed where she needed to. “Thank you” he accepted them back and waved to a younger doctor to take them. “Would you have time to look over some protocol updates I’d like to propose for the next group of trainees?” he asked and followed Alex as she headed towards the nurses’ station.

“Of course, I’m free in an hour if that suits you?” Alex smiled when he nodded in agreement and was updating patient files when Thom appeared beside her. “Hey” she mumbled.

“So did she tell you what she did?” Thom leaned against the desk, glancing around to make sure they weren’t overheard.

“Mmmm?” she flipped between two pages in the file and reordered them once she’d figured out what was needed. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

“BB, did she tell you how she managed to piss off Serena?” Thom asked impatiently.

“Bernie hasn’t been in, Martin did ward rounds and one of the techs said that she’d taken a jeep out” Alex returned to the last file, reading through what was noted down before signing it off and closing it. 

“Interesting” Thom mulled over what this meant while accepting that he was over-invested in the love life of two women he’d only met recently.

“Not really” Alex shrugged as they made their way out of the building. “Bernie is an expert in stuffing up relationships but I doubt Serena will let her get away with it for long”

“I hope you’re right” he walked beside her, his hands in his pockets. 

“For someone who was ready to fight her for my honour only a couple of weeks ago, you seem very worried about her happiness” Alex raised an eyebrow.

“I know, I know” he accepted the mild rebuke. “They just seem right for each other, you know?” he watched the brunette’s face, relieved when it didn’t seem to flinch. 

“Chemistry off the chart” Alex nodded in agreement and looked up as she heard a jeep slowing down to enter the camp. “You can ask Serena yourself” she nodded in their direction.

“Nope, they’re either still fighting or making up and I don’t need to be around for either event” he shook off his feeling of foreboding and pretended not to watch the older women as they walked away from the jeep, hand in hand and laughing at something Serena whispered in Bernie’s ear.


	14. Alex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And this one finally draws to a close. I'm hoping the ending works for you if you've stayed with this from the beginning, it seemed a nice image to close out on.

“OK?” Alex asked as the patient was wheeled out of the operating room and Bernie threw her gloves into the bin. 

“Mmmmm, yes, you?” Bernie washed her hands on autopilot, her mind clearly a million miles away.

“Fine, apart from my leg falling off halfway through that surgery” Alex replied, leaning against the sink beside the blonde, crossing her arms and waiting for a reaction.

“Good, good” Bernie dried her hands and ran them through her hair. “Wait, what?” she finally processed what Alex had said and turned to look at her in confusion.

“Where on earth has your head been?” Alex laughed. “You’ve zoned out on every conversation we’ve had in the past two days”

“I know, sorry” Bernie shrugged. “Just been thinking”

“It’s fine, you’re still laser focussed during surgery” Alex nudged her shoulder with her own. “Serena leaving tomorrow?” she guessed at what was causing the unusual symptoms.

“Yes, can’t wait” Bernie had a faraway look on her face again.

This time Alex stopped walking and put her hand on Bernie’s arm “Seriously, what is going on with you, did you have a fight with Serena?”

“I told her” Bernie swallowed and then smiled. “And she was her usual magnificent self”

“You told her that you didn’t want to work in England and now you’re glad she’s leaving?” Alex had clearly missed a memo somewhere along the line of this conversation.

“I told her I was dreading doing mundane surgeries and she said, basically, well don’t” Bernie grinned at the memory and then noticed that Alex was looking even more confused. “She told me to work somewhere like here every couple of months then go home to her for a while”

“And you’re OK with that?” the brunette frowned. 

“Well it’s not ideal” Bernie admitted. “I didn’t really plan on a long distance relationship”

“Again” Alex mumbled as they continued walking towards the command tent. Bernie frowned at her and Alex shook her head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean us, I sort of meant Marcus”

“Ah, well yes, that fell apart for rather different reasons” Bernie looked awkward.

“What’s occurring?” Thom ran to catch up with them. 

“You are not watching any more Gavin and Stacey!” Alex shook her finger at him and they both laughed, Bernie, looking at them.

“Sorry, I’ll stop” Thom promised. “So what’s the plan for this evening?”

Bernie assumed that he was talking to Alex and returned to trying to figure out how to make her mildly complicated love life work. It took several seconds for her to notice that they were both looking at her. “What?”

“She’s still doing that thing” Thom waved his hand in her face and complained to Alex.

“I know, we’ve talked but it seems to be a terminal case” Alex shrugged and smiled at the blonde. “Are we all having dinner together, so we can say goodbye to Serena?”

“I suppose so” Bernie nodded. “Early dinner though?” she suggested hopefully.

“As if we’d take up quality, last-minute shag time” Thom shook his head at them both and walked off, leaving Alex with her head in her hand and Bernie laughing.

Serena had seen them talking and was heading towards them when Thom turned and walked in her direction. “She’s still doing that thing” he waved his hand in his own face, shaking his head as Serena gave him the biggest grin he’d seen from her yet. “Old lady sex is still weird” he jumped out of the way of her thump and ran for cover.

“Cheeky bugger” Serena shouted after him but couldn’t keep the grin off her face. “He’s getting worse” she complained to Alex and did a double take as the younger woman blushed and walked off muttering to herself. “What on earth?” Serena asked Bernie.

“Apparently Alex has a limit for being shocked which is lower than mine” she smirked and wrapped her arms around Serena. “How are you today, my love?”

“Calls all done, I managed to speak to Henrik” Serena returned the hug with an extra squeeze of the blonde’s bum. “He’s hoping to persuade you to change your mind, fair warning”

“He can try, but if missing you doesn’t make me work at Holby then he’s on to plumbs” Bernie grinned.

“I’ll let you explain that lovely vernacular phrase to him” Serena patted her bum again as they turned towards their tent. “So what were you up to?” 

“Complication on the leg injury from the crash last week” Bernie caught her thumb through one of Serena’s belt loops. “One of the trainees took the lead but I wanted to be close by, just in case”

“Did it go well?” Serena knew it had, she could always tell when Bernie had the relaxed swagger of a successful surgery running through her.

“He’s a very precise surgeon, he coped with a few things going wrong” she shrugged. “So, Alex and Thom wanted to know if we could all have dinner this evening, they wanted to say goodbye”

“Of course, can we have it a bit earlier though, I want you all to myself later” Serena couldn’t understand why this caused Bernie to stop walking and start laughing. “Why is everyone in a strange mood today?” she looked around, bewildered.

******************************

Alex lifted her water bottle “To friends, old and new” she toasted the others. 

“This would be more fun with shots” Thom grumbled but stood up next. “To hot women, I will never understand you,” he said solemnly and took a drink from his own bottle.

Bernie was smiling gently, watching her friends and partner interact. She sipped from her bottle and raised an eyebrow as Serena got the wicked twinkle in her eye and stood up.

“To hot women, even without hot tubs” she intoned and nodded before drinking and sitting down again, leaning into Bernie’s arm across her shoulders.

“I will miss you” Thom grinned. “I’ll miss both of you when you leave, I’ll be left on my own”

Alex lounged back in her chair, lazily kicking out towards his shin. “Hey, we’re both here for the same length of time”

“But you’re all loved up as well, it’s sickening” he shook his head.

“I am not!” Alex protested. “I’ll miss you” she pointed her bottle at Serena “At least I can have a sensible conversation with you” she pointed her bottle at Bernie and Thom, ignoring their affronted faces. “These two are useless”

“You can facetime me whenever you need some intelligent conversation” Serena promised, only to be nudged by Bernie. 

“I thought I was the only one you facetimed?” she looked confused at the correct usage of the term.

“Don’t worry love, I’ll wear clothes when Alex calls” she stage-whispered, delighting in the ability to still make Bernie blush that deeply.

“Right, with that I’m done” Thom stood and held his arms open. “Come here, gorgeous” he insisted and waited for Serena to stand, engulfing her in a tight hug for several seconds. “We’ll look after her for you” he whispered in her ear, releasing her and stepping back. 

Alex stood as well, coming round to stand beside the older brunette. “I’ll keep in touch, even if you do wear clothes” she grinned and hugged her.

“You do that, I want to know what happens with you and Jan” Serena couldn’t resist some quality gossip.

Alex and Thom waved at Bernie and headed out, leaving the two women sitting together at the table. “I’m glad you get on alright with them” Bernie sighed. “Were you really worried I’d end up with Alex again?”

“Not really” Serena admitted, looking embarrassed. “But can you really blame me, she’s attractive, funny, intelligent and an excellent doctor”

“She’s not you” Bernie held onto Serena’s hand, leaning in for a kiss. She looked surprised when Serena pulled away with a quizzical look on her face. Running through what she’d just said she hastily explained. “I mean, you’re all of those things plus……” she panicked and her mind went completely blank.

Serena did love teasing the blonde, even when it was so easy. “Berenice Griselda Wolfe, if you dare to say you more than like me I will not be responsible for my actions!”

Bernie gave in, knowing that Serena wasn’t really angry. “I love you” she murmured between soft kisses. 

“Just as well I love you too” Serena pulled back from the kisses and watched Bernie’s face fall. “I’m not cutting you off, just taking a breather while we’re in public” she explained.

Martin had been glancing over towards their table and took the opportunity to approach when it was clear the two women were comfortably talking again. “Ms. Campbell” he stood beside her chair. “I just wanted to thank you for your help last week” he held out his hand and shook Serena’s firmly.

“I really didn’t do too much” she protested.

“On the contrary” he smiled gently. “A calm, experienced head is worth more than a dozen hands-on scalpels in that situation”

“You’re very kind” the brunette nodded and shook his hand again.

“Have a safe journey home” he nodded at both of them and left them alone. This only lasted a couple of minutes, as the rest of the surgical and support teams decided to say goodbye to her.

An hour later they were finally able to leave the tent, walking slowly back towards their tent. “Sorry” Serena mumbled “I know we were hoping to be back before now”

“Don’t apologise” Bernie turned to walk towards the edge of the camp, away from the lights. “It’s good for you to be reminded how much you’re appreciated, even by people you’ve only known for a couple of weeks” she led them both towards a small stand of trees. 

“Perks of being the boss’s girlfriend” she suggested lightly, surprised that she was feeling a little overwhelmed by the genuine warmth of the others.

“Hey, don’t do that” Bernie gently chided her. “You know the people stuff is what you’re good at, it’s just been a while since you’ve been surrounded by so many people”

“I suppose so, it does make me hanker after AAU again” she admitted shyly. 

“I’m sorry” Bernie whispered into her hair as she pulled her into another hug.

“Don’t you do that, either” Serena kissed her neck. “You know you’re best at trauma surgery, I’d rather have you happy and in my arms less often than miserable and there every night”

“What if I change my mind?” Bernie asked, leaning down for another kiss. “I may not be able to go back to being without you”

“Then we’ll find you a busy, well-funded trauma unit and we’ll move to work there together” Serena had already figured out most of the likely scenarios.

Bernie held her tightly for several seconds, trying to hide the fact that she was desperately close to tears, she had promised herself that she wouldn’t spend their last night for a while crying. “I’m pretty sure Henrik would make me an offer I couldn’t refuse if you even suggested that”

Serena pulled back and stared at the blonde, reaching up to wipe the moisture from her eyes. “Did you just make a popular culture reference?” she teased lightly. Leaning in she slowly kissed her until she felt her jaw release some of the tension and a smile form between them. “Despite us both disappearing off to foreign climes several times, I know we both want to be in the same place at the same time darling” she put her fingers against Bernie’s lips to forestall the interruption, “And I know you want to be with me” Bernie nodded, smiling against the finger before sliding her tongue against it. “We’ll find a way to make it work, whatever it takes”

Bernie raised an eyebrow and nibbled on Serena’s finger until she removed it from her lips. Pointing over Serena’s shoulder she waited for the brunette to turn round and pulled her back against her, wrapping her arms around her waist and resting her chin on her shoulder. “Whenever you look out of your window at home and see the moon, just imagine I’m standing behind you, holding you close and kissing your neck” she matched her actions to her words.

“God, that feels good” Serena closed her eyes briefly, taking in a deep breath of the cooler night air. “It’s beautiful but not as beautiful as you” she held onto Bernie’s forearms, wriggling her bum against her. “And when you look at the moon, think of me lying in our bed at home, wrapped up in one of your t-shirts and nothing else”

“You will be the death of me” Bernie groaned into her ear before nibbling her neck. “Can I interest you in a small, uncomfortable bed tonight?”

***************************

Joe insisted on carrying Serena’s bags to the jeep and handed the keys to Bernie when they both joined him. “Thanks” Bernie smiled and slid into the driver’s seat. “Ready?” she checked as Serena took another few photographs before stowing the camera in her backpack and nodding.

“I’m going to miss that ridiculous bed,” Serena said, her voice a bit wobbly.

“I’m going to miss your fabulous body beside me in it” Bernie rested her hand on Serena’s thigh.

“Mmm,” the brunette stared out at the passing scenery, flat with occasional bushes and small trees. “It’s only two weeks” she finally sighed.

“And then we have at least two months together” Bernie reminded her, trying to stay positive. 

“We can decorate the house while you’re there, you can help me choose colours and patterns” Serena smiled, she was looking forward to Bernie moving in with her.

“I can?” Bernie looked surprised. 

Serena looked across at her, squinting as she noticed the slight panic on her partner’s face. “You are not having khaki or scrub shirt blue in our bedroom” she warned.

“Right, of course not” Bernie nodded. “You know you should pick a few of your favourites and I can choose from them?” she hoped this would work.

“Berenice” Seren turned in her seat, folding her arms and glaring at the woman beside her. “Please tell me you have done this before?”

“Well,” Bernie glanced down the road, wishing that the airport would miraculously appear an hour earlier than it should. “I mean, I wasn’t exactly around when the family moved the last couple of times”

“Oh for the love of….” Serena pinched the bridge of her nose. “Now I can’t even remember seeing you wearing clothes in anything but khaki, blue, black or white!”

“I have that pink coat and several green shirts” Bernie complained.

“They are practically khaki” Serena sighed. “OK, well I’ll start putting together some options and email them to you when I get back to the cottage” she shook her head. “Honestly, for a grown woman you have some surprising gaps in your life skills darling”

“I’m sure whatever you choose will be fine” Bernie hoped some subtle flattery would help.

“Don’t try flattery, you’ve already been everywhere it was ever going to get you” Serena smirked. “Besides, now I’m a lesbian I can’t go around having flowery wallpaper anymore”

Bernie nearly drove them off the road and Serena didn’t stop giggling for several minutes. “I’ve always quite liked a nice, bright yellow in the kitchen,” Bernie said quietly, her fingers intertwining with Serena’s. “But I prefer bathrooms to be bright white”

“Excellent” Serena grinned and squeezed the fingers between hers. “I’ll need to get Jason to choose something for his room in case he wants to stay over sometimes”

“He’ll definitely want blue” Bernie said confidently “You just need to nudge him away from AAU or Trauma blue”

They stayed silent for the next ten minutes, Serena taking the opportunity to snap a few more photographs and Bernie trying to make sure she avoided the worst of the potholes. “Will you speak to head office about your next assignment?” Serena asked, clearing her throat of the sudden nervousness.

“I have an update call with them next week, I was planning on talking to them about it then,” Bernie said softly. “I’ll tell them I need a few months at home to get settled and that I’ll let them know when I’m ready for my next posting” 

“I wouldn’t want you to get bored at home,” Serena said quietly.

“I’ll need to move in and decorate by the sounds of it so I’ll hardly be bored” Bernie smiled at her. “Besides I want to catch up with the kids and our friends”

“I wasn’t expecting you to do the decorating, I’ve got a man for that” Serena protested and smiled at Bernie’s sudden head tilt. “Although I’m sure Jim will appreciate having someone supervise him this time”

“Maybe I’ll take up cooking then” Bernie grinned. 

“I’m not expecting a wife to have dinner on the table when I get home from work!” Serena protested without realising what she’d said. “Oh!” she had her hand in front of her mouth and was looking at Bernie in panic.

Bernie slowed down, pulling over at the side of the road before turning in her seat and taking her sunglasses off to meet Serena’s eyes. “What did you just say?” she asked quietly.

“Well, it’s just a turn of phrase” Serena’s hand was on her necklace, the nervous habit having almost disappeared over the last few months it now returned in force. “I’m sorry”

“Is it…….are you?” Bernie could hear her own heart beating and the noises of the engine. “I mean….well” she couldn’t manage to get the jumble of words from her head out of her mouth.

Serena looked worried and confused now. “Bloody hell” she blew out a breath. “You mean you might….” now she couldn’t finish a sentence either.

“Well, I never really wanted to, not after the last time” Bernie licked her lips nervously. “But if you wanted to…”

Serena sat quietly, watching the muscles twitch around the blonde’s eyes as she stared back at her. Taking a deep breath she held out both hands and Bernie immediately took hold. “Berenice Griselda Wolfe, I’m going to be with you for the rest of my life and if you’d like me to make that official then tell me now”

Bernie had been expecting a marriage proposal so the phrasing confused her. Tilting her head she took a few seconds, working her way through all of the possible meanings to the question. “Serena Wendy Campbell” Bernie smiled, tightening her hold on the brunette’s hands. “I’m going to be with you for the rest of my life and I don’t need a piece of paper to make that any more valid” she watched to see the reaction. “Are you disappointed?” she asked eventually.

“I still get you beside me, and we’ll still be supporting each other and loving each other, how can I be disappointed with that?” the brunette smiled, the gap in her teeth making an appearance. “But for the record, if you ever change your mind and decide to pop the question the answer will be a resounding yes”

“Good to know, same here obviously” Bernie grinned and leaned closer to kiss her. She resumed the drive towards the airport and was surprised when the dread of Serena’s impending departure seemed to lessen. Looking across at the brunette she noticed a contented smiled on her face and could see how relaxed she was. “I do love you,” she said, relatively out of the blue if Serena’s surprised glance at her was any indication. 

“Love you too, darling” Serena said quietly, enjoying the sense of contentment that had settled in her after the minor blip of almost accidentally proposing. 

“Can I pretend and tell Alex she has to wear a lime green, puffy sleeved bridesmaid outfit?” Bernie laughed for several miles at Serena’s look of utter shock which morphed into laughter as well.


End file.
